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Life, 1912-09-26 · page 44 of 48

Life — September 26, 1912 — page 44: what you’re looking at

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Life — September 26, 1912 — page 44: Life, 1912-09-26

What you’re looking at

This page contains **two distinct satirical pieces**: ## The Waitress Story (top right) A humorous anecdote mocking social pretension. A waitress attending a party claims aristocratic family connections to impress guests. When she brags about her "best families" background, a young man who recognizes her from the restaurant calls out the restaurant order "Ham and—draw one in the dark," exposing her true occupation. She automatically responds as a waitress would, revealing her deception. The satire targets class pretense and the inability to escape one's actual social station. ## "To Voters" (center right) Political satire on the 1900 election. The piece sardonically advises voters that since candidates are indistinguishable, voting methods are irrelevant—"tossing a coin" works as well as deliberation. It mocks voter apathy and the equivalence of opposing candidates, suggesting Americans treat elections casually despite their civic importance. Both pieces use humor to critique American social and political behavior.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A certain waitress who managed to attend a social function succeeded in hiding her identity from all of the party with the exception of one young man. She was telling a coterie of young men and women about her aristocratic family connections and adding that her father and mother were from the best familie “Ham and—draw one in the dark,” suddenly yelled the mischievously in- “In Uric Acid Diathesis, Gout, Rheumatism, Lithemia, and the Like, Its Ac- Diathesis, etc. . * clined one. tion is Prompt no, V- Shoemaker, MD LD. The-young woman ios’hee cue: and Lasting.” Therapeutics in. the Medico-Chi “Coming!” she yelled, assuming the P n rurgical College of Philadelphia, position of a waitress. George Ben Johnston, M.D., LL.D., Richmond, ia ee Bee Neck Motel Va., Ex-President Southern Surgical and Gyne- UFFALO LITHIA WATER is cological Association, Ex-President Virginia Soubly, efficient in, Rheumatian To Voters Medical Society, and Professor of Gynecology ang Feombatic Sevens, a In the campaign in whose midst we and Abdominal Surgery, Medical College of Vir- elimination, while at the same now find ourselves, America expects every voter to do his, her or its duty. It cannot be denied that it is every vo- ter’s duty to do his di No matter whether you can find any ginia: ‘‘If I were asked what mineral water has time Ib exerts & Booderately stim ulant effect upon the renal cells, the widest range of usefulness I would unhes' and thereby facilitates the swift removal of insoluble materials ‘atively Buffalo Lithia Water. "425 | itatatte inet ah bs a ~ * : : recipitate in the kidneys and alpable, tangible o! erable differ- Diathesis, Gout, Rheumatism, Lithaemia, and ladder. The intense suffering eas ene S Or Pemeeranl sen pices . produced by Stone, together with ence between the candidates who are the like, its beneficial effects are prompt and la: Consecutive pyeliti’ and cystitis, praying for and preying upon your suf- ing .... Almost any case of Pyelitis and Cysti- are avoided by prompt it is your duty to act as if they tis will be alleviated by it, and many cured. J MEDICAL TETOMONY were as widely separated in principle, have had evidence of the undoubted Disintegrat- ON REQUEST. purpose and pulehritude as the two poles ing, Solvent and climinating powers of this For sale by general Drug and or, perhaps better, as different as the water in Renal Calculus, and have known its Mineral Water trade. equator and the poles. ck your candidate. Any method will do, Tossing a coin of selecting a picce of paper from a hat are as good ways as any, As soon as you have your man, act very much as if he had been your life- pion. Stand around on the corner waiting for some long continued use to permanently break up the gravel-forming habit.’ BUFFALO LITHIA SPRINGS WATER C9 Srruncs vineina long fricnd and boon comps = one to make a slighting remark about him. Pick a quarrel at once, promptly Restaurant Slang at Its Limit restaurant observed for several mornings knocking down your chance acquaintance that, when serving the dishes, a new in the name of the flag, the Fourth of (Concluded from page 1879) waiter would invariably get his. fingers July, the country, the Constitution and in the meat and vegetable dishes. When Ly-laws, Shorty Brown in swimming.” Short the aforesaid waiter came around to the ribs with brown grav table one morning the customer gave the “Stack of blankets.” Wheat cakes. following order, supplemented with some Two chickens on a hill." Chicken sare stic comment jive me two hard boiled ¢ ing in the ocean.” Poached the shells on, a cocoanut, and eggs. tea; now get Sour fingers in One of the regular customers of a city you?” swith pot of ‘em, will apples—right_ off the treet -— with a tuselous flavor? ‘That's VILLAGE VIEW APPLI 1 the crisp, balmy mountain alr The pecullar soll here gives them their luscious RY favor. Rivencd on the trees. packed In stroox BEF cuanicoed uoses ani shipped divert to sotto 4 orchards—bo cold storage—o mkddleman's prog. 100 Choice Apples $4.00 Winesaps—Albemarle Pippias—Mammoth Black Twigs One variety Lo each box. No assortments. We pack them to your home for less than you pay for c cold storage kind. ‘Our output bs ltmited—order to-day. Remit check or money order. We prepay express cast of the Missisaipol. Satisfaction guar antecd. Refereace © Peoples National Baok TERT HEIN RTT CHARLEY, AS ASSISTANT RECTOR OF Ne, AS PITCHER, RECEIVES A SAL= | ST. JOSEPH'S, RECEIVES A SALARY OF ARY OF $10,000. | $1,200 A YEAR. . VILLAGE VIEW ORCHARDS on TE sngchasineytom, Vee comicbooWeet