Life — September 26, 1912 — page 43: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

We take this from the Historical Souvenir and Year Book of the Chicago Cooks’ Union Restaurant Slang at Its Limit Waiters in the cheaper American restaurants possess a vocabulary of slang and a stock of stories replete with humor. There an old story of a waiter who shouted out his orders in such quaint terms that a traveler determined to hafle the man's ingenuity. The waiter, however, was equal to the occasion, so when the traveler ordered two eggs, which were to be scrambled and served on toast, the waiter translated the order to “Adam and Eve on a raft. Ship- wreck them.” Two customers, a man and a woman, who visited a cheap restaurant in New York, were startled when they gave their orders and heard the waiter in turn shout them through a small window to the cook. “Give me two eggs fried on one side and three slices of crisp, broiled break- fast bacon,” ordered the man. wo cackles slapped in the face and three squeals crisp,” howled the waiter, while the woman looked aghast. “ And yours, madame,” said the waiter, innocent of creating any sensation. “T'd like a steak, well done, covered with onions,” she replied. “One steak, cremated and suffocated,” again yelled the waiter. “What would you like te drink?” ed the waiter. he woman ordered a cup of coffee, } with cream, two lumps of sugar and, of | course, wanted a spoon. The If dealer is out—send remittance to us. i | wanted a cup of coffee without ercam. ange Te | eres, Here is what the waiter ordered : MORISETTE (Gold Tip) Be “Cup of mud, two chunks of b: BLUES © we ae 30 BANQUET. 112 Siinch $105 PHILIP MORRIS & CO.; Ltd. 402-3 West Broadway, New York Canadian Address. 487-J St. Catherine St., E., Montreal Factories: New York, Meatreal, Londen, Cairo milk the Jerscy, and throw in a picce of p-iron; draw another in the dark. Did you ever sce a Jew come in,” said a veteran waiter in another restau- rant, “go to a side table, and whisper that he wants pork chops? This is what we tell the cook: ‘Forbidden fruit, put out the lights and chase the rabbi!"” At one of the health resorts in the United States persons in declining health would ask for invalid dis Accordingly an order of milk toast with a poached egg on top became known to ser: AM. Philip Morris ses Cigarettes "THE only Cigarettes served at the banquet given His Majesty, King George V, on board H. M. S. "Neptune" when he reviewed the Fleet in May, 1912. The Oldest high-grade Turkish Cigarettes in the World. Made of the Purest Turkish Tobaccos Only. D: you recall that cones gay hes, be se dry, you sack @ mountain spring with its & ine waters fh u ? ‘That time reall; drink pore cock reading bein es cans, ren tence re wcalyeered ie AN ‘Londonderry | pS eee es peepee and eeechlng perhaga orn ewe pr. foe woos Hf minutely pa ut . tt " it tore Heads. melons the oor “iho ditting the Bivcg, SN Ra #8 Plain (still in half gallon bot- i | "you have difficulty obtaining Landonde jee that you are supplied at regular retail prices: |] LONDONDERRY LITHIA SPRING WATER CO., waiters as: “Graveyard stew; tombstone on top.” In the very cheapest class of restau- rants “suicide” is the waiter’s term for a small steak. Among other terms that may be heard any day in these restaurants are the fol- lowing : “Four on two, right and left." Two orders of eggs fried on both sides, placed on toast. “Two cackles and a pi Pork and (Concluded on page 1880) comicbooks.com