Life — August 22, 1912 — page 42: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

hic DELIGHTFUL The Dainty Nint Covered Candy Counted Chewing Gum Chiclets are the re- finement of chewing um for people of re- inement. erved at swagger luncheons, teas, dinners, card par- ties. The only chew- ing gum that ever received the unqualified sanction of best ‘society. It’s the peppermint—the true mint. Look for the Bird Cards in the packages. You can secure a beautiful Bird Album free. For Saleatall the Better Sort of Stores Sc. the Ounce and in Se., 10c. and 2Sc. Packets SEN - SEN CHICLET COMPANY Metropolitan Tower ‘New Yor! A Near race riot happened in a South- ern town, The negrocs gathered in one crowd and the whites in another. The whites fired their revolvers into the air and the negroes took to their heels. Next day a plantation owner said to onc of his men: “Sam, were you in that crowd that gathered last night?” mee Did you run like the wind, Sam?” No, sir. I didn’t run like the wind, “deed I didn't. But I passed two niggers that was running like the wind.” Argonaut. "eTTEE Stumped I used to think To hold a On my lap I never knew That's it’s an art, Reserved for but The ultra-smart I paid no great Attention to it, I thought that Any dub could do it. But yesterday I volunteered To let a baby tg my beard. As confident As man L took th On my knee At once the little Rascal howled, The while its “ Support its back,” My good wife cried, “ Keep one hand al- Ways at its side.” “Don't be so rough,” Another said : “ Be careful how You hold its head! De squeeze it so, Give it to me If you can't hold It properly.” They hurled advice From every side, But wrong was Everything [ tried. Until at last 1 gave it back And grabbed my hat And left the shack. Take it from me, It is no snap To hold a baby On your lap! —Detroit Free Press. A Grouch’s Story A couple of old grouches at the Met- ropolitan Club in Washington were one night speaking of an old friend who, upon his marriage, took up his residence in another city. One of the grouches had recently visited the old friend, and, naturally, the other grouch wanted news of the benedict. “Is it.true that he is henpecked?” pnd xrouel t say just grimly re- sponded the first groveh, “but I'll tell you of a little incident in their household that came within my observation, The very first. morning I spent with them our old friend answered the letter-car- rier’s whistle. As he returned to us, in the breakfast-room, he carried a letter in his hand. Turning to his wife, he said: “*A letter for me, dear. May I open —Lippincott’s. 1658 Man’s dress has changed time and again in the past 124 years, but not man’s opinion of Carstairs Whether at the club or cafe —or in the home, you will find that men whoare known, invari- ably express a decided pref- erence for Carstairs Rye. It ia not mere sentiment—although irs Rye bas always been the =———= ff great American favorite—bat because CARSTAIRS fl . purty and palatability } WHISKEY 2 fecuqnaien. If your dealer should not happen to have it, we'll send it to you through him at usual prices, Waite Stewart Distilling Co. Phila. New York Balto. Ferce cf Habit Two nice young girls, out for early argains, met in front of a store on the “saw you in church yesterday, dear,” gurgled one, “Oh, were you in church?” gurgled the other “Yes, love. And I noticed that you had at last made your husband accom- y you to divine worship.” “Of course he went with me. He'd rather go to the theatre, but the theatres aren't showing anything on Sundays now. But he disgraced me.” “In church? How?” “The rector read four chapters from ‘The Acts of the Apostles,’ and my hus- band insisted on getting up and going out after every act.” —Cleveland Plain Dealer. Deep Underground in the Garbage Receiver Ground rz ° ‘sith the Voor. Mo Litter, No Od ATENTS “See Kertksep b ee search of Patent Orfice Records. Howto ‘and What to lavent with list of javentions wasted ee |