Life — May 23, 1912 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“NOT FIT TO PRINT” “The Pigeon” (Scribner, 60 cents). A soft-hearted artist, charitable to his own financial undoing, is placed before us, together with the beneficiaries of his weakness and the rival profes- sional critics of his methods. And in a rapid succession of charming char- acter glimpses and illuminative dia- logues the reductio ad absurdum of the opposing schools for the elimina- tion of human nature from humanity is accomplished before the very eyes of our imagination. The book is one of the literary brilliants of the season. Just to show, however, that the old working hypothesis as to the publica- tion of plays is not quite dead, we mention a volume of “ Polite Farces” (Doran, $1.00), by Arnold Bennett. They are intended, according to their title page, “for the drawing room "— presumably with a turkey-red drop curtain and kérosene footlights. But by the insufficient illumination of the library lamp they fade into insignifi- cance. The only conceivable reason for their publication in book form is the literary coincidence of their au- thors having written them. J. B. Kerfoot. The Harvest OW'D Smith come out with his garden?” Very few of his seeds came up, but he got a fine crop of red cor- puscles.” -LIFE- 1069 Scientific Management for Husbands Energy of Love to be Conserved by Husbands’ Correspond- ence Bureau and Put on a Permanent Basis 'E have an important announce- ment to make. Having just re- organized our business, we have placed it on a basis of scientific management. The amount of energy wasted in superfluous love throughout the civil- ized world cannot be estimated. We experts have made a careful study of this question, and we are prepared to show each one of our customers just how he can love his wife continuously through a long series of years without any loss of dignity or the possibility of paying alimony. We treat every condition. lowing letter is an instance: Dear Sirs: Words cannot express my grati- tude. When I look over a long married life and realize how much affection I have misplaced, and The fol- when I also realize that, owing to your new system, Iam in reality loving my wife more than ever at a minimum expenditure of energy, I cannot tell you how I appreciate what you have done. The fact is that, by showing me how to be- stow my affection at the right moments, I have enough superflu- ous love left for several other estimable ladies. Not that I have the slightest desire to interfere with my present home arrange- ments. I merely state this as an indication of what your system is capable of doing. With gratitude, believe me, etc., Cherishing, as we do, much respect for scientific experts, we are bound to say that the basis of our new system is one which we originated out of our own experience We took as this basis the kiss, and figured this out as a unit of love energy. We have computed the total number of units of energy expended by five thousand customers of ours in a given period. We found in most cases that the same number of kis: if extended over a definite period (and not con- centrated into one), would not only last longer, but would produce very much greater satisfaction. It has been our experience that when kisses are concentrated at a given period a re- action almost always follo and a fierce quarrel ensues. By distributing your energy over a longer time much greater results are produced. Here's a letter from a customer who recently placed himself in our hands after having been married only eighteen months: Dear Sirs: It is almost unnecessary to state that under your treatment I am an entirely new man. My wife also wishes me to send you congratu- lations. When we were first married I comicbooks.com