Life, 1912-03-21 · page 23 of 52
Life — March 21, 1912 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Keep Off the Grass"** by William Wallace Whitelock mocks San Francisco's pride in the Golden Gate as its exclusive symbol of grandeur. The satire argues that other cities (New York, Boston, Hoboken) have equally "golden" exclusivity for the wealthy. Whitelock suggests San Francisco has no monopoly on using "golden gate" as a metaphor for wealth-based social exclusion—it's become generic. **"Turn About Is Fair Play"** shows a politician confronting a newly enfranchised suffragette. The joke plays on the phrase "what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander": now that women have the ballot, the politician nervously asks what they'll do with it. The suffragette's retort about "disfranchising" suggests women might strip voting rights from men—turning the tables on male political dominance. **"A Case for Discipline"** sarcastically defends a doctor who administered antitoxin for diphtheria to a woman who died of hydrophobia. The piece mockingly asks whether the "Medical Trust" will abandon vaccination merely because it fails—clearly criticizing medical establishment arrogance and resistance to accountability.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“WHAT A FU-FU-FUNNY HOLE! NUTH'N FIZ 17” Keep Off the Grass HE Golden Gate—what golden gate? “caps” exclusive? Does California think no State but it has proof conclusive That gold its propyleum is, the entrance to the city, Where all the girls are fair of phiz and all the men are witty? Alas! some other towns, 'tis said, are barred by golden portals, And close their inner shrine in dread ‘gainst all but gilded mortals, LOOKS -BIG, BUT And why these “ Who enters here leaves hope behind,” if we can credit Dante, Was writ in letters well defined, according to his chantey, Above the gate that led below where tortured souls were roasting, Or paying dear in ice and snow for sinning and for boasting— Well, we our social gates above have placed this emblem glorious, “You cannot enter here for love, but gold is all-victorious.” So, San Francisco, please take note, you have no patent pending Upon the name you proudly quote on letter-heads unending. New York and Boston both declare, as likewise doth Hoboken, Their gates are gold—no plated-ware—a symbol and a token For nouveaux riches who'd scale the wall though they should need a derrick— In future, therefore, write it small, since “golden gate’s” generic. William Wallace Whitelock. TURN ABOUT IS FAIR PLAY Politician: WELL, NOW YOU'VE COT THE BALLOT BOX, WHAT YER GOIN’ TO DO WITH 1T? Suffragette: ou! po a LITTLE DISFRANCHISING. “WHAT'S SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE IS SAUCE FOR THE GANDER” A Case for Discipline E learn, through the daily press, that a woman in Struthers, Ohio, is dying of hydrophobia, caused, her doctor says, by antitoxine administered for diphtheria, That doctor should be disciplined. Is he a traitor to the most sacred theories of his pro- fession? Does he not know that all these serums—aside from producing lockjaw, paralysis and similar trifles—are perfectly harmless ? Does he think the Medical Trust is going to abandon vaccination, for instance, merely because it is proved to be a failure? A CALIFORNIA MARKET