Life, 1911-09-28 · page 33 of 42
Life — September 28, 1911 — page 33: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains a satirical short story about aristocratic divorce. A European count seeks a quick divorce from his wife, engaging a lawyer named Calder. The joke centers on a cynical transactional marriage: the count marries a woman named Miss Van Peters (now "Countess Caruzzia") solely to gain a title, then immediately divorces her. When the count sentimentally claims to actually like his new wife, the lawyer dismissively orders him to sign the papers, noting the arrangement was never intended as a real marriage—"that's gone out of style long ago." The satire mocks both European aristocratic pretension and the commodification of marriage among the wealthy, where marriages are business transactions involving names and money rather than genuine relationships. The page also contains advertisements (Philip Morris tobacco, a "Sexology" book) and a brief anecdote about Charles II keeping secrets—unrelated filler content typical of Life's format.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
whispered the count, ing on the vocabulary “Where now? unconsciously ta “Divorce mil They stopped. They entered. “Miss Van Peters—beg pardon— Countess Caruzzia’s lawye id Cal der, “All. ready, old man,” as they were ushered into another private office. “ All ready,” replied the lawyer. “ Pa- pers waiting ht them out. said to the count. exclaimed the count. Calder; “you didn’t expect to live with did you?” he said impatiently. That's gone out of style lorg ago. Be- sides, that wasn’t’ in the ba You've been paid for your name.” The count gasped. “But,” he exclaimed, “I rather like her. She”—he looked at his temporary wife—"‘is very beautiful.” “Tut, tut. Sign here, please, or the district attorney will have you locked up over night for breach of faith. He's a friend of mine The count, tre signed. bling with fear, are free ow,” said Calder, —with your money. He held out his hand “you “Good-by, old man. Glad to have, met you.” The countess—that was—also held out her hand. she said, “ for your trouble: will enjoy your money.” And thus they parted. “Thank you, so much,” I hope you Secrets The reply of Charles the Second when importuned to communicate something of a private ure, is not hout its permane value. “Can you keep a secret? ked the subtle monarch. “Most faithfully,” returned the noble- man. the laconic and se- arles. “So can I,” w vere answer of Cl A Happy Marriage Depends largely ona knowl- edge of the whole truth about self and sex and their relation to life and health. This knowle: does not come intelligs y of itself, bor correctly from ordinary every-day sources. SEXOLOGY Ullustratea by Witham He Ws whol 0 Her Daughter, All in one volume. Ilustrated, $2, postpaid. ‘Write for "Other People's Opinions" and Table of Contents Puritan Pub. Co., 776 Perry Bldg., Phila., Pa. Philip Morris kyb"cur pLuc | Into these two brands we've put our years and years of tobacco knowl- edge, producing a smoke that is a smoke. Not everyone will appre- ciate the Philip Morris aroma—good tobacco never appeals to all. We ask $2.00 the pound in 25c, 50c and $1.00 tins, and it’s an economical buy at that —one plus one of tobacco value, not one tobacco plus a dollar’s duty—yet the prin- | ciple and quality is the same that we have followed in London since you all were kids. If your dealer does not stock these tobaccos, send us his name and address and 25¢ for sample of English Mixture or Cut Plug. PHILIP MORRIS & CO., Ltd. 417 West Broadway, New York City New York Montreal Cairo} Factories: G5 Wi PEOPLE you KNOW comicbooks.com