Life — September 7, 1911 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PARIS GARTERS No Metal Can Touch You Are the universal frst. choice. They are the handsomest and most durable Garters made and afford the maximum of comfort. ‘There's a printed guarantee of satisfaction with every pair. Look for the name PARIS on every garter. A. STEIN & CO. Makers CHICAGO U.S.A OUR_ FOO || 160 Pictures CONTEMPO ARIES for 25 ¢ os Cone Tite aN, On Too Many Trumps “I have seen some very remarkable whist hands,” said one of the bridge fiends in a downtown club on Saturday. “But once, about four years ago, I saw one man hold all thirteen trumps.” “Why, that’s not so extraordinary,” two or three players broke in all at once, “that’s happened lots of —" Hold on till I'm through. What P made this hand remarkable is that the Make Your Home More Auraciive man who held it only took one trick.” Send twenty-five centsfor LIFE’S “Nonsense! What are you handsome | 130-page catalogue “It’s a fact When he trumped his showing miniature reproductions - 4 3 of pictures for framing, ranging in partner's ace first time round his part- price from twenty-five cents up to ner got up and threw him out of the $2.00. If, upon examination, you window."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. think the catalogue is not worth price, we will return the money. Send in stamps or cash to His Mcther-in-Law Threatened Life, The Black Hand society wrote a man 22 West rst St a letter demanding that he put one thou- — Checkmate ! In these days, when various schemes are being suggested by which the loser of personal property may recover it w: out offering an extreme reward, it is in. teresting to note two advertisements which appeared in a German paper. [a these advertisements nothing so bald as a suggestion of reward appears. They seem merely to present two wits fencing, and the reader forgets the matter at stake: “Bertin, August 5.—The gentleman who found a purse, valuable beyond ex- planation, in the Blumenstrasse, is re quested graciously to forward it to the address of the loser, as he 1s recognized.’ “Bertin, August 6.—The recognized gentleman who found a purse, valuable beyond explanation, begs that the loser will call at his house at the earliest con- venient hour.”—Youths’ Companion. A Vital Spot Senator Robert L. (Fiddling Bob) Taylor tells about a man in the back- woods of Tennessee who applied for a pension for-a gunshot wound An ex- amining surgeon of the medical board stripped and examined him, ejaculating finally : “Old man, we cannot find a single blemish on your hide. Where were you shot during the war?" The old man said, “ Well, gentlemen, I was shot in the substitute.” —Leslie’s Weekly. So Frank He (wondering if his rival has been accepted): Are both your rings heir- looms? Sue (concealing the hand): Oh, dear, yes. One has been in the family since the time of Alfred, but the other is newer—(blushing)—it oaly dates from the conquest.—Tit-Bits, Caront Bitters—Unequalled for flavoring sliced Fruits, Ices, and Jelles,, Sample on receipt of 25 cents Oct. C, Blache & Co., 78 Broad St., N. Y., Gen'l Distrs. sand dollars in a barrel on the corner of X and Z streets at nine o'clock on Friday night, or they would blow up the beautiful home of his wife's mother. Instead of the money the man put a note in the barrel: “ Nothing doing in the money line, tut the proposition you Suggest interests me.” ---Ladies’ Home Journal. An Exaggerated Report 5 O Y E A R Ss Oo F Eprror: You say here in your report that Mr. Jones has “taken a partner for UNPRECEDENTED POPULARITY IS THE Rrvorrrn: Well, I suppose the expres: INVINCIBLE RECORD OF sion is a trifle bromidic. Epitor: It isn't its bromidic quality I was thinking of; but don't you know our policy is never te be extravagant or dogmatic in our statements? —Boston Transcript. WM. LANAHAN, In a Pinch, uso ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE, Sold at all first-class cafes and by jobbers. ‘& SON, Baltimore, Md. comicbooks.com a oe i]