Life — June 15, 1911 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Crouch & | Fitzgerald 154 Fifth Avenue N.W. Cor, 20th St, 177 Broadway 723 Sixth Avenue, N.Y. Above Cortlandt Below Forty-Second Trunks, Bags and Cases Man and His Ways “The boldest grafter I ever knew,” says a friend, “was a summer resort hotel man with whom I became involved last August. I spent three days at his joint, and couldn't stand it any longer. When I called for my bill I said, very severely : “TL think you advertised magnificent ry up here?’ “Yes, sir, I did? With good fishing?’ Good fishing, too.’ Pure air and no mosquitoes?’ “*That's the way my advertisement sir. You quote correctly.’ “*No flies, no malaria ssed table, etc?’ “* Exactly. Is there anything wrong?’ “Is there anything wrong? Where is the scenery?’ “*There isn’t any.” “Where are the fish?’ “‘T never knew of a fish being caught in these parts.” “*The flies are fierce and the mosqi- toes are still worse, aren't they? And your rooms are stuffy and your table is rotten?’ “*You're right.’ “ Then you admit you lied about the place?’ ‘y rooms, good now as when grandfather 7 drank it—over a hundred years ago” gj A centurion Whiskey with fal\\ > spotless reputation for good- ness and purity Distilled and Bottled in bond by A. OVERHOLT & CO, Civilization—from | Signal Fire to Telephone “oe telephone gives the widest range to personal communi- cation. Civilization has been ex- tended by means of communica- | tion. The measure of the progress of mankind is the difference between the signal fire of the Indian and the telephone service of to-day. Each telephone user has a per- sonal interest in.the growth of the whole telephone system. One Policy One System He is directly benefited by every extension of his own possibilities. He is indirectly benefited by the extension of the same possibilities to others, just as he is benefited by the extension of the use of his own language. Any increase in the number of telephones increases the usefulness of each telephone connected with this system. The Bell System is designed to provide Universal service. AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES : Universal Service “*Oh, is that what you've been try- ing to get at? Why didn’t you say so in the first place? Sure I lied. I'd have admitted that a half an hour ago, if you'd mentioned it, and saved you a lot of talk. I'm the biggest liar in these parts. Your bill for the three days will be $10.75. Come again next season.’” —Boston Traveler. “Is she slender?” Pittsburgh, Pa, “Slender? She can bathe in a foun- tain pen! "—Sphine, 10 A Unique Declination A young woman prominent in the social set of an Ohio town tells of a young man there who had not familiar- ized himself with the forms of polite correspondence to the fullest extent When, on one occasion, he found it necessary to decline an invitation, he did so in the following terms: “Mr. Henry Blank declines with pleasure Mrs. Wood's invitation for the nineteenth, and thanks her extremely for having given him the opportunity of doing so."—Lippincott's. comicbooks.com