Life, 1911-01-26 · page 18 of 44
Life — January 26, 1911 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct satirical pieces: **"Bulls & Bears"** (main article): Satirizes the stock market's absurd volatility and the manipulation by financial insiders like J.P. Morgan. The piece mocks how meaningless market movements are—stocks rise and fall based on trivial rumors (car shortages, canal dirt removal), often reversing within hours. Morgan's quoted statement is deliberately nonsensical financial jargon, exposing how brokers use pretentious language to mask ignorance. The satire suggests markets are rigged speculation with no rational foundation. **Theater cartoon**: Depicts a manager explaining to an author why an unpopular actor (Blinks) was cast—he gets "mobbed" in the final act because the "supers" (background actors) are actually his creditors, ready to physically attack him. This jokes that creditors will pursue debtors so aggressively they'd assault someone on stage, and that even theater casting depends on settling debts rather than talent. Together, these pieces satirize how financial systems and social relationships are driven by manipulation and debt rather than merit or logic.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“LL NPE THE OLD PEAT OF WALKING THE SLACK WIRE BLINDFOLDED AND IN A BARREL 18 very rassé HE announcement that one million, six hundred and cigh- teen thousand, five hundred and seven shovelfuls of dirt had been removed from the Panama Canal during the past month was greeted with cheers on the Stock Exchange Mon- day. There were others, however, who took a pessimistic view. In the meantime the Harriman stocks underwent a sympathetic movement. Part of them went up and part went down. Otherwise the market did not respond appreciably. Upon a supplementary statement from Mr. Hill governing the coal supply along the Canadian border there was a re- action. Those stocks which had previously gone up went down and those which had gone down went up. At two-thirty the market stood exactly as at the opening. At two-thirty- five Mr. Hill wired that he had been misquoted, but three o'clock came without definite action, The public was present throughout the entire session but took no part in the pro- ceedings. On Tuesday something seemed to be afoot and stocks moved irregularly. About noon, as had been predicted by the bulls, came the news of a car shortage. This was taken as a good sign. Brokers remembered the claim of the railroads that they lost money on everything they did. If, therefore, through a fortunate shortage in,cars, certain freight could not be moved, the loss on that freight would be saved. Railroad stocks immediately began to go up. Then came the news that a careless yard man had discovered some empty cars on a siding near New Rochelle. Railroad stocks immediately went down to the lowest point of the month. On Wednesday and Thursday the financial writers asked Mr. Morgan what to say about the market and he drafted the following for general use: “ The market is extremely nar- row, somewhat professional, highly uncertain and lacks sup- port. There is a firm undertone, but nothing to warrant it. Several of the bulls have become bears and vice versa. The insiders are proceeding with their manipulations in a way that seems to savor of price movements upon a scale which, while indicating either a feeling of confidence or the opposite in the good intentions of the administration, show a desire to accumulate more information for future delivery. Everything possible is being done to arrive at a basis upon which the market can be infused with more lambs in spite of the stagna- tion which has nothing to recommend it but stability.” This situation was well maintained through the whole of Friday's session and on Saturday until the appearance of the bank statement, which was variously construed. Can She Come Back? RS, AUGUSTA STETSON is of opinion that Mrs. Eddy can come back. Maybe so, but we don’t see either James Jeffrics or the Colonel quoted as supporting her view, The backing of these experts would be valuable to her side. Has-Been-Senator Smith, of New Jersey, and the Hon. Blue-Eyed Wm. Sheehan, of New York, are understood to be favorable to her position on general resurrectionary principles. Author: 1 SEE YOU GAVE BLINKS AN IMPORTANT PART IN THIS PLAY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE NOT GOOD FRIENDS. Manager: THAT'S ALL RIGHT. HE GETS MOBBED IN THE LAST ACT BY A BUNCH OF SUPER: “BUT THAT'S ALL STAGE-PLAY.” “NOT THIS TIME, I HAVE SELECTED THESE SUPERS FROM AMONG HIS CREDITORS.” comicbooks.com