Life — December 1, 1910 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

972 how it is, sir, yourself, as a married man. Mr van Mever.—Ahem! Burroughs. Mrs. van Meyer (Near tears).— A—are you going to sit calmly by and see me insulted, Neddy? Burroucus.—Pardon, madam, but ] spoke with the utmost respect. Mr. van Meyer.—Go on, Burroughs. Burroucis.—I was about to observe, sir, that for ten years now I have stood behind your chair and have seen madam, and only madam, and no disrespect, sir, I feel that I need a change. Mr. van Meyer.—And that is the reason you are leaving? Burrovucns.—As a butler, sir, I feel that my usefulness is over when I can no longer gaze with pleasure upon the face of my mistress. Put yourself in my place, sir Mr. v Meyer.—Ahem! Mrs. vAN Meyer (/n tears).—Neddy, 1 thought you cared a little about me, Dut I sce T was mistaken. Perhaps you would like to be leaving, too? Mr. van Meyel There, there, my dear. You don’t seem to realize the difference between a husband and a butler. Had you another place in view, Burroughs? Burroucus (fesitating).—Yes, sir. Continue, Mrs. van Meyer.—With whom? Burroucus.—With Mrs. Archibald, madam. Mrs. vaN Mever—Oh, the cat! And she was here this afternoon. If I had only known! Mr. van Mever—And you think you won't get tired of her face, Bur-, roughs? Burroucus. at all events, Mr. vAN Meyer.—I see. Mrs. vAN Meyer.—Neddy, you are a brute! Mr. vAN Mever—Myedear, be rea- sonable. Think of what is at stake. And that is your only objection to your present place, Burroughs? There is nothing else with which you are dissat- isfied ? Burroucns.—On the contrary, sir— Mr van Meyer.—And you are not tired of my face? Burroucus.—No, sir. stood behind your chair. Mr. vaAN Meyer—To be sure! Well, don’t you thing you might achieve your object without leaving us, Burroughs, by simply shifting to Mrs. van Meyer’s chair and gazing on my face in future? It would be a change, you know. Burroucus.—I had thought of that, sir, but I hesitated to propose it. Mr. van Meyer.—Suppose I propose it, then? Not for a while, sir, You see, I Burroucits.—In that case it would be different, sir, of course. Mr. van Meyver—And you, my dear? Mrs. van Meyer—Oh! pray don’t consider me! I don’t count. Mr. van Meyer—On the contrary, it is precisely because you count so much.—Well, then, we can consider the difficulty sol In future, Bur- roughs, you will stand behind Mrs. van Meyer's chair and feast your eyes on my countenance—although I think you display very bad taste. Is that satis- factor; Burroucns.—Perfeetly, sir. Mr. van Mrver—And to you, my dear? Mrs. vaN Mever.—I—I suppose so. Mr. v Meyer.—Then everything is settled. Come to my study after dinner, Burroughs, for that little check 1 was speaking about. I trust I may have cause to give you many another on like occasion, Burgoucus.—Thank you, sir. Mr. van Mryer.—Don’t mention it. But, oh, one word more, Burroughs. In case at any time you happen to get tired of my face, don’t hesitate to shift back to my chair. You may change as often as you like, after this. Burroucns.—Thank you, sir. You are very kind. And now, sir, I think dinner is served. PUZZLE PICTURE FIND THE BUNNIE THAT SAID “THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS."*