Life — August 25, 1910 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

an "iT P'E* 315 hear him to the next station. Every train-lamp shines like headlight. Stopover checks given on all through tickets; passengers can drop off the train as often as they like, do the stations two or three days and hop on the revival train that comes thundering along. Good, whole-souled, com- panionable conductors ; ain’t any road in the country where the passengers feel more at home. No passes, every pas- senger pays full traffic rates for his ticket. Wesleyanhouse air-brakes on all trains, too; pretty safe road, but I didn’t ride over it yesterday.” ; “Maybe you went to the Congregational Church,” I said. “Popular road,” said the brakeman; “an old road, too, one of the very oldest in the country. Good roadbed and comfortable cars. Well managed road, too; directors don’t in re with division superintendents and train orders. Road's mighty popular, but it’s pretty independent, too. Say, didn’t one of the division superintendents down East discontinue one_of the, oldest stations on the line two or three years ago? But it is a mighty pleasant road to travel Always has such a splendid class of passengers.” “Perhaps you tried the Baptist?” I guessed once more. “ Ah, ha!” said the brakeman, * ‘sa dai isn’t she? River road; beautiful curves; sweep around anything to keep close to the river, but it’s all steel rail and rock bal- last, single track all the way and not a side track from the round-house to the terminus. Takes a heap of water to ron it, though; double tanks at every station, and there isn’t an cngine in the shops that can pull a pound or run a mile with less than two gauges. But it runs through a lovely country; these river roads always do; river on one side and hills on the other, and it’s a steady climb up the grade all the way till the run ends, where the fountain-head of the river begins. Yes, sir; I'll take the river road every time for a lovely trip, sure connection and good time and no prairie dust blowing in at the windows. And _yester- when the conductor came around for the tickets with a little basket punch I didn’t ask him to pass me, but paid fare like a little man—25 cents for an hour's run, and tle concert by the passengers throwed in. I tell you, nm, you take the river road when you want——” But just here the long whistle from. the engine an- station, and a brakeman hurried to the door, This train makes no stop between here napolis.” Exit an Attorney \ simple countryman was telling Foote of the expense he had been to to bury a relation, an attorney, in proper style, with carriages, hat-bands, ete. “What! Do you bury you ked Foote. “ Yes, to be sure we do; how else?” “Oh, we never do that in London. When an attorney happens to die we lay him out in a room r night by himself, lock the door, throw open the sash and in the morning he is entirely off.” “Indeed!” cried the amazed farmer; “what becomes of him?” “Why, that we cannot exactly tell; all we w is there is a strong smell of brimstone left in the room ¢ antipathy which Dr. Johnson bore to Scotland was not singular or unprecedented. Lord Stanley came plainly dressed to request a private audience of King James I. A dressed Scotchman refused him admittance into the The king, hearing an altercation between > two, came out, and inquired the cause. “ My liege,” id Lord Stanley, “this gay countryman of yours has refused me admittance to your presence.” “Cousin,” said the king, “how shall I punish him? shall I send him’to the Tower?” “Oh, no, my liege,” replied Lord Stanley, “ in- flict a severer punishment; send him back to Scotland.” show!” “ SICKENING, ISN'T 17?” “YoU HAVEN'T ANYTHING HERE, HAVE you?” “wor i!” rom “Daumier and Garvarni.” International Studio ‘al Extra Number. John Lane Company. Definitions From the Persian A hidden telltale. The idlest man in the country. Minister of State: The target for the arrows of the sighs of the oppressed. ‘yer: One ready to tell any lic. Fool: An official, for instance, who is honest. Physician: The herald of death. Wide A woman in the habit of praising her husband when he is gone. Poet: A proud beggar. Mirror: One that laughs at you to your face. Bribe: The resource of him who knows he has 1 bad cause. Salvation: A polite hint to others to get up and greet you with respect. Priest Calling to Prayers: A disturber of the indolent Faithful Friend: Money Truthful Man: One who is regarded as an enemy by every one. Half consent. Service: Selling one’s independence. Hunting: The occupation of those who have no work to do. Mother-in-Law Doctor: An ass in a quagmire. Liar: A person making frequent use of the expression: “T swear to God it is true!” Guest: One in your house who is impatient to hear the dishes clatter. A spy domiciled in your home. comicbooks.com