Life, 1910-08-11 · page 25 of 40
Life — August 11, 1910 — page 25: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"It Didn't Work"** mocks romantic idealism. A young woman declares she wants to be loved "for herself alone," but systematically rejects suitors who offer genuine, unconditional affection—praising her character despite noting her physical flaws (false teeth, freckles, small eyes). She ultimately marries a man who flatters her superficially. The satire targets both female vanity and the impossibility of achieving the romantic ideal she claimed to want. **The cartoons** include a caption-joke about eating green apples causing stomach aches, and "The Bystander" sketch mocking a marathon runner blocking traffic—suggesting the absurdity of prioritizing endurance sports over practical city life. The opening text references Henry Ford and horse-drawn carriages, likely critiquing Ford's dismissal of traditional transportation as "just horses" while advocating automobiles.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
For Mr. Ford has evidently figured that because these are “just horses "’ the © of old Jerry and the sardonic the profile of Fiddler and Dea- srafting on old man Braisted for a will be allowed to bring tears niles to the eyes and hps of the + without rebuke. But surely is still balm in Gilead? Shall be one law for the gray wolf and r for the gray horse? Go to! J. B, Kerfoot. It Didn't Work was once a beautiful young who said that the man who must love her for herself alone. came the first suitor, who said: you because you have such is a switch,’’ she smiled. and the + went away disenchanted. Come the decond suitor, who said: T love you because of your wonder- them squints,” she laughed, the suitor wen: away swiftly. love you because you have such teeth,’” declared a third suitor. “They are false,’ she smiled, displa, the third suitor went away ause you have a pers vowed the fourth she sniffed, h suitor went and married ith six children then the fifth suitor, who sighed: “I love you because you are you; be- ss widow STER, YOU MUST ACHE ALL OVER ‘ YOU EAT GREEN APPLr: HOW DO 1 LOOK IN MY NEW GOWN, ALFRED?’ “ amense!" cause of yourself; because there is soul in you which attracts me irre: ubly."” “But don’t you like my hair?’ she asked “Te does not especially appeal to me. I never hiked that tint.”* “And my eyes? Do you not admire them?" They are blue, and my favorites are brown. But T love you because you are you, and——" My complexion? it fine?” “Tt is not smooth, and I have noticed that you freckle easily and your nose turns red in cold weather. That is an immaterial detail, however, for my af- fection is based on—" “And my teeth? Do you not consider them admirable? ”” Do you not think * They are too small I to be swayed by such tri love is on a higher and than “Well, you are a horrid. uncompli- mentary wretch, and I couldn't marry you if you were the last man on earth! The very idea! If you begin. picking flaws with me before we are even en- gaged, what might I expect of you if we married?’ And the fifth suitor went away and started a bucket shop. and she married a man who told her she had the smallest hands he had ever seen. nobler plane YSTANDER (sarcastically, to last man in Marathon Race): Here, move on, there. Yer obstructin’ the traffic. comicbooks.com