Life — July 28, 1910 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Lead the Imaginary Life A FEW NEW MENTAL SUBSCRIBERS CAN STILL BE TAKEN ON The recent announcement, not only in this page, but sent broadcast through our thought bureau, that our limit of ten million mental subscribers had been reached, naturally was received with great consterna- tion. Many people had delayed putting their minds on it, the result being that their vibrations came too late. Owing, however, to cancellations, and a number of subscribers that we were obliged to refuse after their application had been filed, there are still about a hun- dred thousand vacancies. We are compelled ‘to state that the new applicants will be scrutinized with unusual care, and if many of them don’t get in they should not blame us. We are now in a position where we can take on only the elect. Here is a letter just received through one of our coarse physical departments: ere! I subscribed mentally for one hun- ind up to date have received no returns, he slightest sign of being tunny since I concentrated. Am afraid that you are a fraud, Yours truly, H——— s—_—_ We cannot emphasize too much the fact that this is a serious department, and we absolutely refuse to consider any applications conceived in the facetious spirit of this individual's communication. This is no joke. In the first place, we will not receive thought sub- scriptions for one hundred years. One year at a time, and renewals subject to our cancellation. We are in a position where we can dictate our own terms; at the same time we wish everybody to under- stand that we fully realize our responsibilities. We Propose shortly to reorganize the whole publishing business of this country, but we shall do it in a seemly manner. Some of our contemporaries are in too much of a hurry. We wish, in the first place, to emphasize the fact that when you become a mental subscriber to LIFE you are doing a conscious act, not to be treated lightly. ‘We guarantee to keep you in harmony with the uni- verse, but you must do your part. Don’t get the idea that this is something funny. The only reality is the mind. Use our regular form when subscribing, and in ad- dition give your pedigree. No use to gloss things over. We have a band of trained thought experts and we can tell whether you are vibrating the truth or not. You can do it anywhere. Let your eye rest on any shining object. We recently suggested a door knob, but if you are living in a camp, for example, where door knobs are scarce, concentrate on a tin pan. Any- thing that glitters will answer. When you have hypnotized yourself, state mentally sh to become a mental subscriber. My name and my address is — « Lhave com- tted the following crimes —‘but I am now trying to lead an harmonious life. That’s all you have to do. If you are rejected, you will feel melancholy for a few days. In fact, you will always feel melancholy. If you are entered and classi- fied, you will begin at once to get the mental LIFE. Here’s a sample of many mental letters received: Life: Three weekc ago I was standing upin the sub- way with about @ million other unfortunates, when suddenly, b ions, I thought to myself a mental LIFE subscriber.” in accordance with your $0 sincere and earn- couldn't refuse me. + Well, the next day I began jaughing to myself and have kept it up ever since. Your advertisements are particularly good. I have, since subscribing, been trying all the imaginary automobiles advertised 80 extensively in your superb special numbers, and not one of them has broken down! What more can I say! Joyfully you: We are going to have something to announce soon about our mental advertisers and the quality of their advertisements. We proudly affirm—and we challenge a denial—that we are the first paper in this country to insist on pure mental advertisements, That is why we can easily command one hundred dollars a line in im- aginary money; in fact, we have to turn away adver- tisers every week, who concentrate in vain. Pure mental advertising for all—that is our watch word. Only last week a man came around to our mental “ad” department and wanted to advertise in some of our coming imaginary specials an imaginary hair restorer. He said he could vibrate a fine imagi- nary head of hair in two days. But we have too much regard for our mental subscribers to permit a glaring imposition like this to go in. Every mental advertisement you read in the im- aginary LIFE you receive regularly is genuine, and backed up by the whole concentrated office force. Lead the imaginary LIFE. Be a mental subscriber ere it is too late. Only approved applicants taken. Concentrate on LIFE'’S Thought Bureau. (In case reply is expected, please enclose mental postage.) aftern for a Tw ered rare in th and t witty orato Wi croni Garr older with lanl other twal. Bu was comicbooks.com