Life, 1910-07-28 · page 28 of 40
Life — July 28, 1910 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
## "Bill Nye, Postmaster" This is a satirical letter from humorist Bill Nye (a real figure of the era) thanking the President for his appointment as Postmaster of Laramie, Wyoming. The joke is Nye's mock-serious tone about what should be a routine bureaucratic appointment—he describes it as "a great triumph of eternal truth over error and wrong" and "one of the epochs" in the nation's progress toward "political purity." This mocks both partisan patronage appointments (where political allies received government jobs) and Nye's own self-aggrandizing pomposity. His digression about "corrugated cuspidors for the lady clerks" adds absurdist humor. ## Other Content The page includes two unrelated items: a poem "To His Nose" (apparently a classical drinking song celebrating a wine-drinker's reddened nose) and a brief anecdote "Uncommon Humanity" where Douglas Jerrold observes an elderly lady dancing with a young man, sardonically suggesting only a member of the Humane Society would show such kindness.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“IP E.* Bill Nye, Postmaster (A Letter of Thanks.) Orrice or “ Daity Boomeranc,” Laramie City, Wyo., August 9. My pear Generac: I have received by telegraph the news of my nomination by the President and my confirma- tion by the Senate as Postmaster of Laramie, and wish to extend my thanks for the same. I have ordered an entirely new set of boxes and post- office outfit, including new corrugated cuspidors for the lady clerks. I look upon the appointment myself as a great triumph of eternal truth over error and wrong. It 1s one of the epochs, I may say, in the Nation’s onward march toward political purity and perfection. I do not know when I have noticed any stride in the affairs of State which so thor- oughly impressed me with its wisdom. Now that we are co-workers in the same department | trust that you will not feel shy or backward in consulting me at any time relative to matters concerning post-office affairs. Be perfectly frank with me, and feel perfectly free to just bring anything of that kind right to me. Do not feel reluctant, because I may at times appear haughty and indifferent, cold or reserved. Perhaps you do not think I know the difference between a general delivery window and a three-m quad, but that is a mistake. My general information is far beyond my years. With profound regard and a hearty indorsement of the licy of the President and the Senate, whatever it may be, remain, sincerely yours, Birt Nye, P. Gen. Frank Hatton, Washington, D. C. ME INSUFFICIENTLY varni.” International Studio Special Extra Number. John Lane Company. “ITS MY WIFE!" —From “ Daumicr and Garvarni.” International Studio Special Extra Number, John Lane Company. To His Nose Fine Nose! whose ruby gems so many a pipe have cost Of white wine and of red, Whose color richly shared, nor red nor violet lost, Hath both hues fairly spread. Big Nose! who thee beholds across a bumper glass, Fudges thee yet more fine: Thou are not like the nose of that most wretched ass Who water takes for wine. A turkey-cock’s red throat the most resembles thee. How many richest folk Have not so rich a nos ‘To paint thee needs must be Very much time bespoke. The glass, the pencil, was which thee illumined; The coloring was wine: So thou was painted, cherries not so red, During that thirst of mine. Some say wine hurts the eyes, but who gives heed to those? Wine is a curious Good medicine for my ills; both windows I would lose Rather than all the house —Alivier Basselin (Fifteenth Century) Uncommon Humanity At an evening party a very elderly lady was dancing with a young partner, A stranger approached Douglas Jerrold, who was looking on, and said: r, can you tell me who is the young gentlemen dancing with that elderly lady?” “One of the Humane Society, I should think, Jerrold. replied comicbooks.com