Life, 1910-03-24 · page 19 of 44
Life — March 24, 1910 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks Harvard University by depicting a lecture hall where the "students" are actually infants and toddlers—complete with nurses, perambulators, teething rings, and dolls. The professor attempts to conduct an astronomy lecture while dealing with absurd interruptions: students teething loudly, playing marbles, whooping cough, gingerbread eating, and tin engines. The joke targets Harvard's pretentiousness and intellectual self-importance. By literalizing the "infantile" nature of the student body (or perhaps criticizing their immaturity), Life satirizes elite academic institutions. The absurd formality of the professorial voice—maintaining dignified lectures amid chaos of actual babies—creates the humor. References to famous authors' names (Henry James, Horace Fletcher, Audubon) given to children amplify the satire on Harvard's self-regard.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WHY CONPINE THE CONVERSATION The New Harvard “DQEFORE proceeding further with the lecture,”’ said the professor of as- tronomy at Harvard, “1 must insist that the students lay aside their dolls. I cannot pretend to instruct those who do not pay attention, and I wish to remark that there is a time and a place for playing dolls, as well as a reposi- tory for rattles. “Do not make it necessary for me to be personal, Herbert Sylvester Lowell. The mere fact that you are teething is no excuse for biting your teeth- ing ring in that loud and obstreperous manner. Mr. Hollywood, would you mind stepping into the hall and telling Algernon’s nurse to come in. He has an attack of whooping cough which is annoying the entire class. “To continue: Uranus is, you will observe, one of the st important planets in the constellations; it has— These interruptions are becoming most annoying! Horace Fletcher Audubon, you must cither put away that gingerbread man or TO THE INDIVIDUAL Boxes? leave the classroom. No, Milton Horatio Mecker, you can- not play with your tin engine during the lecture hour. “But I can plainly note that I am not going to be per- mitted to proceed, for that marble game between Augustus Everton and Nathan Hale Hanson has absorbed the interest of most of my auditors. Henry James, don't you know that my nerves are not accustomed to the scratching of your slate pencil? Stop it! Ah, there gocs the first bell. One moment, please; I have one or two announcements to make. “TI regret to say that Professor Greathead, who was to have talked to us to-morrow on the ‘Cosmic Consciousness of the Inevitable,’ is ill and will not appear. His maternal parent telephoned me this morning that he is suffering from a slight attack of chicken-pox and that his nurse thinks it un- wise for him to come. I am requested further to announce that there will be a game of pe this afternoon in the yard. The scheduled debate between the juniors and the junior laws will be held Saturday despite the epidemic of cholera infantum which has so un- fortunately spread among the students. I must ask the nurses to come single file and to avoid getting the perambulator wheels entangled in cach other. It interferes with the facility of egress. Kindly avoid dropping milk bottles upon the floor and see that all rattles, dolls and toys are in the possession of the proper owners.”” pom-pullaway for the seniors comicbooks.com