Life, 1909-06-24 · page 17 of 29
Life — June 24, 1909 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes famous literary figures of the era in a fictional "race" to the Life Building. The competitors include **Mark Twain, Bernard Shaw, Elinor Glynn, Hall Caine, Rudyard Kipling, George Ade, Bob Chambers, and Alfred Austin**—all prominent writers of the early 1900s. The joke mocks their literary reputations: Elinor Glynn (author of *Three Weeks*, a risqué novel) nearly collapses; Alfred Austin stops to cool himself (suggesting pretension); Bernard Shaw's distinctive whiskers drag the ground. The race culminates as a three-way tie, with Shaw and Twain gallantly supporting the faltering Glynn. The subplot about a landlord's tenant (bottom left) appears unrelated social humor about dishonesty. The satire's broader point: these celebrated authors are absurdly competitive and self-important, reduced to physical comedy. The "Heaven" quote references Wordsworth, suggesting even literary giants engage in exaggeration about life's meaning.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
885 Some one tossed Mark a Pittsburg stogie, and grasping it firmly between his teeth it seemed to give him new life Lire Building was in sight, “ While there's Lire there’s hope’ flaunting in the breeze. You could have heard a meteor drop, the silence was so intense. The three leaders, running casily, were in sight of the goal. Suddenly Elinor Glynn be waver. It looked like an open for Bernard Shaw and Mark Twain Moved by a simultaneous impulse, however—for th they sprang to her side and, each taking to ind shut aye are both gentlemen— pgbsayy an arm, they carried her in between them. It was dangerous, but they did it The race was therefore a tie, the cup awarded to Mark Twain, Elinor ach of them & bei Glynn and Bernard Shaw. will keep it four months until further notice. When last seen Hall Caine was in | tears. “It's hard enough to lose," he sob! “but to think I am barred o inything for a year! What will be- id without me to teach of the year d, of writ- Indignant Landlord: MADAM, YOU TOLD ME THERE WERE BUT TWO IN YOUR FAMILY come of the wo; WHEN YOU TOOK THE LEAs “TMAT'’S TRUE. THAT'S ALL THERE WERE, THEN.”’ ' house in Connecticut. The finish at to the front. He passed Caine at Forty: “PT JEAVEN lies about us in our in- | second street. ney,"" said Wordsworth, and ] Lire. Building. Hall Caine led the bunch for the first three miles. Elinor Glynn, however. was crowding him close, and it looked like a cinch for Three Weeks. Bernard Shaw’s whiskers were dragging on the ground at the end of the first quarter Bob Chambers, George Ade and Rudyard Kipling were running neck and neck Alfred Austin was doing well until he stopped to cool his fevered brow at the Jerome Park reservoir. But he leaned over too far. It is understood that the city of New York will sue him for fall- The race now became very exciting. we lie about Heaven the rest of the It was impossible to say who would win. — time. ing in Mark Twain began to show up well in the last quarter. He was running easily, and was greeted with whirlwinds of ap- } plause all along the line. At Harlem | he had caught Elinor. Hail Caine was breathing hard. In the mean time Bernard Shaw, who had been feeding on celery, hove in sight, and rapidly came } “PLEASE ROW A LITTLE FASTER, HORACE, DEAR, AND DON’T LET THAT MORRID aR | fe comicbooks.com