Life, 1909-02-04 · page 24 of 40
Life — February 4, 1909 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century Life magazine: **"On the Ground Floor"** mocks railroad magnate Edward H. Harriman's claim that railroad workers must "start at the very bottom." The satire notes that Harriman himself started in a broker's office—hardly the bottom—and suggests that if truly starting from scratch were necessary, one should begin "in jail." This critiques wealthy industrialists' hypocrisy about meritocracy while implying railroad magnates operated unethically. **"Ballade of Old Valentines"** is a sentimental poem about lost romantic interests, likely not satirical. **"Hypocrisy"** is an editorial commentary praising hypocrisy as essential to society and government function. The final jab references John D. Rockefeller, suggesting his success derives from practicing hypocrisy so naturally he's unaware of it—a cutting critique of gilded-age robber barons' moral blindness. The accompanying illustrations (Cupids, a child) are decorative rather than caricatures of specific figures.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
INCORRIGIELE Hearts ts mend! Hearts to mend! On the Ground Floor RITING in the Yale News about college education and the railroad business, Mr. Edward H. Harriman says: “No matter how well educated a man may be he must start in railroading at the very bottom.” Yes, dear sir, at the very bottom; in a broker's office by preference, where you and Thomas Ryan started, though a banker's office, where Mr. Morgan started, or a lawyer's office, where Mr. Moro wetz started, will do, There are those who hold that in order to be thoroughly grounded the learner of railroading ought to start in jail and work out, but under our present statutes so fundamental a preparation may be un- necessary. “LIFE: Ballade of Old Valentines IS the day that lovers their faiths declare, But where’s my lady, to say me “yea? y I've found, both kind and fair But Time and Cupid hunt hearts to slay, And the rose-lip laughter is still to- day Of the shadow-faces on yonder wall. Many a one,—and who are they? Old Valentines,—I loved them all Pelle Beaucoeur with the straying hair: Blithe bonnie Jessie whom naugt could stay; Timid Marguerite, stare (Eloped with an actor, so they say!) Jo, flashing eyed, in negligée ; Low-voiced Grace, who held me thrall; Wilful Rosamond, yea-and-nay— Old Valentines,—I loved them all. with the child-like A foreign mission—'twas hardly fair! Took Lillian and her laughter gay. Kitty, the pretty and debonnair and grows yearly Wedded gray; And grave Theresa's in a play! I sit and watch the embers fall On my darkening hearth—ah, well- day! Old Valentines,—I loved them all. wealth, ENVOY Good Saint! from such a fair array Could I have chosen, beyond recs A single lip, and a single way? Old Valentines,—I loved them ail! A LITTLE GOOD ADVICE. DIABOLO Hypocrisy OF all the indispensable virtues known to man hypocrisy is the only one that has not been officially recognized. Hypocrisy forms the basis of our daily lives, and no government could run without it for a week. It elects candidates, wins battles, preserves pa- triotism, and is the basis of most re- ligions. It is really laughable to see the efforts made by children to be natural, before they have acquired the art of hypocrisy. They tell the truth without the least re- gard to anyone's feelings, and with one fell swoop often undo the work of days. Fortunately, however, they are learning now more rapidly than ever before, so far as we know, and soon acquire enough hypocrisy to know how to be ordinarily polite. Hypocrisy is practiced by all success- ful people. Indeed, its absence indicates failure. It begins in the nursery, when the sugar bowl, minus one lump, is made to preserve its former appearance, and ends in the graveyard with the last eulogy. To be successful at hypocrisy, one must not know that one is practicing it. That is the reason why Mr. Rockefeller is at the head of his class. comicbooks.com