Life, 1908-12-03 · page 37 of 68
Life — December 3, 1908 — page 37: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks the fad diets and health crazes of early 20th-century America. At a family Christmas dinner, the host attempts to serve turkey, but each guest refuses traditional food in favor of trendy dietary restrictions: - **Cousin Jane** is a vegetarian - **Uncle Jake** follows an extreme "buttermilk diet" involving tablets of bacteria - **Cousin Adelaide** practices "Fletcherism" (extremely small portions) - **Brother Sam** eats only underground vegetables, claiming primitives did so - **Cousin Bertha** survives on hot water The joke satirizes how these competing dietary fads make a normal family meal impossible—the host's generous Christmas dinner becomes absurd when guests reject it for pseudoscientific health trends. The satire targets both the diets themselves and the self-righteous superiority of their adherents. The accompanying illustrations of the host's frustration reinforce the humor of this modern inconvenience.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Mr. Fether: 5LAint—ER—MISS WAITE, WOULD WE KEEP POINTING THIS WAY MUCH LONGER PREPARED. IF WE'LL BE MEAVE TMAT I’M NOT QUI IN “Think, think, what it will be like on Christmas morning, when you rejoice in all the beautiful offerings cf your friends! "” “ Are you so ignorant?’ she cried.“ Do you not know that there is an imp of the perverse which keeps you from ever giving or receiving anything that you desire or that is desired? No, it is useless to attempt to cheer me. There is no hope.’” Before Christmas day dawned, Satan, who chanced to be again mak- ing a tour of his estates, was surprised to see the young man prostrate himself before him : “Back so soon.’ cried ihe Prince of Darkness; “why, what is the meaning of this?’ | “Ah, Sire,’’ besought the youth, “ when you again wish your interests in New York looked after, I beg you to send some one with stronger nerves. The pace was too much for me. Let me remain instead in dear, quiet, peaceful Hades, where I can preserve at least some of my illusions:"" Mrs. Wilson Woodrow. A Christmas Dinner a la Mode People had wil T was the family Christmas dinner. come from all over to attend. The host—a genial, hearty looking soul—flourished the huge carving knife over the glistening turkey, “Cousin Jane,” he asked, “what part of the turkey do you prefer?” Cousin Jane smiled a superior smile. “None, thank you. I am a_ vegetarian. farHaven't eaten a bit of meat for one year, and look * said the host, passing on to Uncle Jake, Uncle Jake, what part ’— I'm on the buttermilk diet,’ replied Uncle Jake. “ Greatest thing you ever saw. No impurities in the system. Don’t bother about me. I don’t even have to drink buttermilk any more! I just swallow every other day a tablet containing two billion lactic acid bacteria, and make it myself inside.”” The host passed on to the next. YOU MIND MOVING FORWARD A BIT? MOLDING MIM WERE TILL WE SAYS NE’LL BRING YOU A LITTLE auto. 631 he said, “Well, Cousin Adelaide,” what can I help you to? Cousin Adelaide moved away slightly and scornfully from Uncle Jake. If you please, one ounce of turkey. I'm a Fletcherite. Half an ounce would be my usual portion, but this is Christ- mas, and I'm going to be real reckless. Oh, if you only knew how it makes me feel!’ The host turned to brother Sam. “ Well, Sam, what can I do for.you?"’ “No proteid to-day, thank you. I eat nothing but vegetables that grow under- ground. Roots—if you have a few of them they will be all I want—or possibly alittle bran. You see the primitive man lived on roots. Our chief trouble to-day is that we do not get back to a state of nature.”” “Pass him the celery,”’ said the host. “T guess that is the best we can do. Bertha, what can I do for you?” Cousin Bertha, a wan little thing, AnD § HES. niled brightly. . “Nothing, thank you: I'm living on . hot water. But I had my glass at cleven, Big Sister: 1115 18 SANTA CLAUS’ AGENT, TOMMY, AND 173 Little Brother: Gex!,1HAT’S THE THIRD AGENT THIS WEEK. comicbooks.com