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Life, 1908-07-02 · page 25 of 40

Life — July 2, 1908 — page 25: what you’re looking at

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Life — July 2, 1908 — page 25: Life, 1908-07-02

What you’re looking at

This page contains two distinct satirical pieces mocking medical and political figures of the era. **"How To Get It"** is a scathing expose of fraudulent hydrophobia (rabies) diagnosis. The satirist describes a cynical scheme: a dog is starved and provoked into biting someone, then killed. When the victim later shows any nervous symptoms, a complicit "Certain Institute" diagnoses fatal hydrophobia. The victim dies from psychological terror or lockjaw. An autopsy conveniently "confirms" the diagnosis, protecting the Institute's reputation. The satire attacks both medical quackery and institutional self-preservation at patients' expense. **"Marse Henry's Great Victory"** mocks newspaper editor Henry Watterson, who claimed Bryan better represents anti-monopoly sentiment than Roosevelt. The satirist suggests Watterson is merely practicing self-delusion through "auto-suggestion"—convincing himself of something untrue through repetition—rather than facing reality. Both pieces exemplify Life's role as muckraking social critic, exposing medical fraud and journalistic dishonesty in the Progressive Era.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

How To Get It HIS is the season. Hy- drophobia must begin in hot weather, The first req- uisite is a dog. Any dog will answer. Duringa few hot days give him no water, but plenty of meat. When, as a nat- ural result, he has a fit with frothing at the mouth and convulsions, let him bite some- body. If unable to exasperate him to the point of snapping at his tormentors, he at least, lick a hand with a scratch on ‘That will serve the purpose. Be sure and kill the dog. Otherwise he is likely to recover, and as hydrophobia is uni- versally admitted to be a fatal disease the dog’s recovery, after a day or two of kind treatment, would bring discredit—even ridi- cule—on the whole enterprise. Therefore, whatever happens, kill the dog. If he lives, the patient cannot, in reason, have hydro- phobia. And that is what we are working for. Later on—sometimes a few days after- ward, sometimes years, for much depends ‘on a good memory—the person bitten or licked may also have a fit, convulsions or strange feelings somewhere about his person Then his friends remind him of the dog. The rest is casy. That is, of course, if the right physician is consulted. The phy- sician must have a firm belief in hydropho- bia. Otherwise he may diagnose for some ordinary nervous malady and hydrophobia will lose another corroborative case. For this disease a Certain Institute is highly recommended. This _ Institute EER makes a specialty of hydrophobia. It has “discovered” countless cases and treated them effectively. Some think too effec- tively. Many of their patients die of lock- jaw. But lockjaw is more satisfying to cer- tain temperaments than a lack of faith. There may be doubts about hydrophobia, but lockjaw is convincing. To return to our patient. When he, with nerves already overstrained and half sick with terror, is told by a Certain Institute that he has a clear case of hydrophobia and ll die within forty-eight hours, he does it. isection being a habit of this Institute, a trifling absence of consideration for the victim must be forgiven. ‘The patient's death, however, under these circumstances arouses a protest of doubt and indignation from his friends. They speak freely of the brutality of the doctors, jeer at the hy- drophobia theory and even go So far as to call it murder. ‘Then, of course, the doctors of the Institute realize the necessity of an autopsy that shall remove all doubt. So a new physician is called i Now the medical fraternity do stand by one another in trouble; and this disinter- ested physician assists at the autopsy. And lo! The autopsy—we are told— reveals unmistakable evidence of hydro- phobia! We have, therefore, one more “authentic case.” VOICE crying in the wilderness— Central's. THE GLORIOUS FOURTH IP WE PERMIT THE PERIL, WHY NOT PROTECT OUR CHILDREN? Marse Henry's Great Victory will be but one real issue in the coming struggle. That is the case of the people against predatory wealth. ‘This has been very well put by Mr. Roose- velt, but Mr. Bryan represents it in all its length, breadth and thickness.” So says Col. Henry Watterson, as re- ported in the Courier-Journal. Well, if you've got to do a thing, no doubt the way to it is to do it as if it were a thing that you liked to do. Go at it so; practise auto-suggestion in its favor daily, and pres- ently the job will come to be the labor you delight in that will physic pain and make the hours scem all too short that you expend on it. Marse Henry has won a great victory over himself, and is an example to us all in the valor with which he has overcome a reason- able repugnance and the ardor with which he simulates hope. HIS sentence will be read by four or five hundred thousand people—out of cighty millions. This gives a fair idea of the proportion of people who are being fooled all the time. . “ AND," continued the teacher, “how many feet are there in a mile?” Two thousand,” promptly answered Willie Metersén, whose father was president of a taxicab company. comicbooks.com