Life, 1908-07-02 · page 26 of 40
Life — July 2, 1908 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces mocking American society and public figures circa early 1900s. **"Souvenir Sue"** ridicules tourists (particularly women) who compulsively collect and transport souvenirs while traveling. **"The Captain"** caricatures ship captains who give self-aggrandizing interviews to reporters, boasting about their experience while exaggerating their accomplishments. **"A Band Idea"** proposes humorously that prominent businessmen and politicians should wear colored bands (like cigar bands) labeling their crimes and vices—specifically mentioning Rockefeller and E.H. Harriman as examples of robber barons whose excessive wealth and unethical practices deserve public identification. The satirist suggests a government commission regulate this "branding." **"Last Will and Testament"** mocks Orthodox Religion, bequeathing its various doctrines to institutions like Christian Science, Mental Healers, and scientific societies—implying religious beliefs are outdated curiosities. **"Roorback, No. 1"** references political smear campaigns ("roorback factories"), predicting dirty tactics in upcoming elections.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
» DEY All in the Same Boat This is a portrait of Souvenir Sue, Who, whether in Brooklyn or Rome Must always find somet To label and carry back home! to break off and snatch, ‘The Captain speaks impressively when giving interviews To reporters who come swarming on the ship, And says altho’ he’s been at sea for many, many years, He's really never seen a {TURMET f trip! Last Will and Testament ORTHODOX RELIGION, being of 9 sound mind and body, but rapidly ap- proaching my end, do hereby make this my last Will and Testament All my Ritual,of whatsoever nature, I give and bequeath, in equal parts, share and share alike, to be divided among the Chris- tian Scientists and the Mental Healers. My Belief in Miracles I turn over to the Society for Psychical Research, to be held by them in trust Infant Baptism and its accrued interest I bequeath without reserve to all hospitals, factories and mines. My belief in Immortahty I give to the poor, to be used by them as occasion may demand All my other effects, cithet real or per- sonal or imaginary, I leave to Science. A Band Idea T ONE time the bands on cigars served as a sort of criterion of worth, a badge of distinction. As Americans, however, are pretty likely to spoil everything they touch, so in time all cigars, good, bad and indiffer- ent, were banded, the result being a useless and meaningless custom. ‘There is, however, an idea here some- where, and capable of a human interpreta- tion. Philosophers, scientists and statesmen, so far as our public morality is concerned, seem to agree about one thing: Publicity. posure is the only cure. Yow, then, why not band our men—not indiscriminately and ineffectively, as the cigars are banded—but with distinctions of color and description which will place them at once where they belong—the work, of course, to be done by a Government com- mission whose motives shall be above re- proach? Rockefeller, for example, could be represented by a long green label with a yellow streak running through it. This would indicate too much money and too little of everything else. E. H. Harriman could have a band like a railroad bond, inscribed with the words, ‘I came, I robbed, I conquered,” and so on. We should thus all be banded together for the common good. Roorback, No. 1 HE. yelping over Taft's Memorial Day address on Grant is a foretaste of what we may expect when the roorback factories get to work in the impending campaign. THESE days genius is the capacity for taking gains. comicbooks.com