Life, 1908-06-04 · page 27 of 44
Life — June 4, 1908 — page 27: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is Gilded Age satire mocking wealthy industrialists. The article sarcastically proposes absurd "solutions" to the "millionaire problem": impressing them into military service, employing them as forest rangers, or establishing sanatoriums where poor conditions would naturally kill them off. The satire inverts typical 19th-century attitudes toward the poor. Rather than viewing poverty as a natural condition requiring intervention, it treats extreme wealth as a social disease. The author ridicules millionaires as idle, shiftless parasites who consume without producing—contrasting sharply with the hardworking "common people" supposedly being economically crushed by their existence. The piece references contemporary wealthy behavior: marrying showgirls, wasteful philanthropy, and reckless conduct ("running over people"—likely referring to carriage accidents). This reflects genuine Progressive Era criticism of unregulated capitalism and the visible excess of the robber baron class during the 1880s-90s.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“LA RECE:: 6ll They could be impressed into the army. Having inde- pendent means of their own, they need not necessarily be half starved, as our present army officers are. Armed bands of millionaires might be successfully employed to protect our forests. This would help to keep them out of mischief. Perhaps it might be well to have a Government commis- sion appointed to look into their condition, affairs, etc., and make an exhaustive report as to the best method of dispo- sing of them. It is almost three weeks since a Government commission has been appointed to report on anything, and it is high time that some more of the people’s money be spent in this direction. Perhaps the worst feature about the millionaire is that he has no means of useful enployment, and not having any ambition, he makes no effort to better his condition, He is almost invariably shiftless, loose in his habits, and undesirable from every standpoint. He is also a large consumer, without giving anything in return. There are great patches of the United States which show the effect of this deadly blight. If any one can, therefore, invent a suitable spray to use against the millionaire, it will be much appreciated. Other- wise our crop of common people is likely to be seriously crippled. wwe. SAR. ARDT IN 1882 A National Pest I" IS getting to be a serious question as to what we shall do with our million- aires. Most of them are allowed to roam at large, causing much annoyance to quiet and peaceful citizens. They are either marrying chorus girls, giving away useless money, writing books, running over § people, or in many other ways making nuis- ances of themselves. There are several things that might be done with them. Suitable sanataria might be established for them where the food is so poor, the hygienic surroundings so bad, and the prices so high that they would naturally die off in considerable numbers. They might be employed upon our railroads, mending ties, replacing broken rails and improving roadbed. MR, KYRLE BELLEW IN THE SEVENTIES comicbooks.com