Life — May 21, 1908 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sad Tale of a Motorist HERE was a man of modest means, But inclinations gay, Who sold a corner lot and bought A motor car one day. He closed his business up to ride Within the big machine, Aod parted with his diamond ring To buy the gasoline. cfore, along the country roads, ‘The sumac lit its fires, He put a mortgage on his house To purchase rubber tires; And next he auctioned off his beds, His tables and his chairs To give the car a coat of paint And make some slight repairs, ut speeding in the early dusk,’ Without his lamps alight, A man in blue and brass appeared And stopped his dizzy fight. He didn’t have a single cent To pay the fine imposed; They took the auto for the debt, And so the tale was closed. —Popular Mechanics. Poor Richard Junior's Philosophy an Irish cook may take French leav amatist in search of a telling situation caght to visit a sewing-circle. You may be pretty sure that most Pandora chests are opened with a corkscrew. When the lion and the lamb lie down together, it isn't the lion that goes to sleep. There doesn’t seem to be much choice: If you build your own fortune you die from overwork, and cr built it for you, you die from indiges- urday Evening Post. “()FFICER,” said the police magistrate, “what is the charge against the prisoner?” “Having an infernal machine in his possession, your honor,” replied the policeman. archist or chauffeur ?” queried the magistrate. —Newsb Moses's Feat *\JOW, Johnny,” said the Sunday school teacher, uu tell me one of the most remarkable replied the bright youth. “He of the Commandments at the same time.” News, When Tommy Bathes “you must keep your mouth shut when you're in the water,” said the nurse, as she gave little ya bath. “If you don’t, you'll swallow some “Well, what of it?” demanded Tommy. “There's plenty more in the pipes, ain't there ?”—Lippin- ott, A BOY always brags of what he will do when he’s aman, And when he becomes a man he always boasts of what he did when he was a boy.—Pick-Me-Up. A Spendthrift JBLICAN : And how do you like being married, John? Jou: Don’t like it at all. 7A y, what’s the matter wi’ she, John?” Well, frst thing in the morning it’s money; when T goes ‘ome to my dinner it’s moncy again, and at Supper it’s the same, Nothing but money, money, money!” “Well, I never! What do she do wi’ all that Money?” “I dunno, I ain’t gi —Lit Digest, 0. t given her any yet.”"—Literary sa tee THE WONDERS OF VACUUM CLEANING Sin, Negied | Ay the Sewing Ma- BROUGHT WITHIN THE REACH OF ALL Factory — Everywhere re is Dist. BY THE IDEAL VACUUM CLEANER (PULLY PROTECTED BY PATENTS Operated By Hand “It Eats Up The Dirt.” Or Electric Motor OPERATED BY HAND, EM pats absnlotely wo tax oF ‘weakeved by fever would 01 ‘core the lask an too easy. DRUDGERY AND INEFFICIENCY OF BROOM AND BRUSH NOW BANISHED FOREVER | Broom and brush remove only surtace airt, and work with them is druagery. The carpet sweeper Is the least thorough of any cleaning implement. Vacuum Cleaning 1s Sanitary Science's solution of the cleaning problem. Hitherto its splendid advantages could be bad only by installing a Costly power plant or the even more costiy method of hiring men who operate wagon engines. ‘The IDEAL yacuuit CLEAN is the answer tothe demand fora machine that would make Vacoum ining thor- oughly practical and ible forall. It is the first really scientific application of the Vacuum Cleaning principle. ‘The IDEAL VACUUM CLEA. R contains within itself all the parts of a thoroughly efficient Vacoum Cleaning system. Weighs only 20 pounds, and is readily carried about. No skill of any kind needed to operate it It always works easily tt ets reliable. ane the IDEAL VACUUM CLEANER 1s of the strongest metal construction throughout, Neat, compact, and firm, It ts sting service. . With the IDEAL VACUUM CLEANER, you simply place the nozzle of the hose against whatever object you want to clean, and instantly every particle of dirt, dust and grit on the object, in the object and under the object, Is sucked in the bose. And along with the dirt go germs, moths, vermin—nothing can escape that suction fore It 1 only really dustiess Syste. It is the only system by which old dirt is not handled again and again. ‘With the IDEAL VACUUM CLEA! ished. The IDEAL VAC! CLEAN! thoroughly renovates every time it cleans. cleans Tenovates carpets, rags and matting without their being taken from the floor. It cleans and reoovates draperies, etc., without their being taken down, It cleans and reno- vates upholstered fornitare without its being taken apart. YOUR PROTECTION. GET A MACHINE NOW. 5 ‘botaies for epectal ps ‘The machine quickly pays Send $20 for hand machine or $50 for electric machine, and we will ship direct to you all st of Mississippi river—proportionate reduction West. If you order electric her your lighting current is direct or alternating and also give the voltage. ‘Send money today by Postal or Express Money Order, Draft or Registered Mail. Ilustrated booklet free, THE AMERICAN VACUUM CLEANER CO., - 25 West 33rd Street, New York City. Rocky Mountain and Yellowstone Park Sommer Camp for Boys Horseback throagh the heart of the Rockies tnd Yellowstone Park. Indian dances, ranch OBJECTS OF ART a ee ee No. 17 West 31st St., New York M. JOHNSON-BROWN & CO. IMPORTERS OF gine July 158. Send for booklet. CHARLES ©. MOORE, LL.B. Fort Washable. ‘Wre Makesthe best cocktail. Aids digestion. Adelightfal aromatic for all wine, spirit ‘and soda beverages. A few dashes give exquisite flavor and taste to and’ in- ‘ereases the tonic effect of Grape Fruit, So Important to see that it Is Abbott's. comicbooks.com