Life — May 21, 1908 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

(e) <= THE REJECTED PLAYMATE (Certain members of the Sociological Society think that a child of five would be better employed in developing its creative facul ties with paints or bricks than in playing with dolls or clockwork toys.) Come, Lucy, let me take that doll away; You seem to have forgotten you are five. And little children of the present day Should at your age be very much alive, If you have ever studied Sociology You know that senseless dummy needs apology. Create, my child! A box of wooden bricks Might occupy your leisure for a while; Nor is it necessary that you fix On an established architectural style. For though Byzantine blend with Perpendicular, Believe me, I shall not be too particular, And you, dear Charles, whose years are rather more, T have experienced surprise and pain To find you frankly grovelling on the floor gaged in winding up a clockwork train! Come, take this paint-box and with due humility Develop your pictorial ability What, tears, my children? Ere it be too late jour passions with a rigid hand. It is unwise to overstimulate ‘The lachrymal of tear-producing gland. Oh, stop that noise and take your toys away with you! But don’t ask me again to come and play with you. —London Daily Globe. HIS JOKE De Sryie: What makes you think Gotrox bas almost finished the cigars his wife gave him fe Gunavsta: Why, I met him to-day, and he said he was almost at the end of his rope.—Harper's Weekly ‘Tue Soctit ror Hosrrtatity: The Manor, Asheville, North Carolina, is the best ian South.—Booklet. A FAMOUS MARCH The King of France had just marched up the hill with forty thousand men. “It is cheaper than a battle Oeet cruise,” he explained. Herewith he marched down again.—Evening Sun. A aippte-acro farmer accosted a serious-faced youth outside the Grand Central Station in New York the other day “Young man,” he said, plucking his sleeve, “I want to go to Central Park.” The youth scemed lost in consideration for a moment. “Well,” he said finally, “you may just this once, But I don’t want you ever, ever to ask me again.""—Everybody's Mogezine “Has my boy been a Little Defender and been kind to dumb animals to-day?" “Yes, grandma, I let your canary out of the cage, and, when my cat caught it, I set Towser on her."—News, BETWIXT AND BETWEEN “Is he well-to-do?” “Not exactly, His affairs are what I should describe as being at the lonesome stage. He is neither rich enough to be sought after nor poor enough to have to hustle."—Washington Star. “I Text you, sir, kissing the hand that smites you is nothing to what I saw in the hotel this morning.” “What was that?” “The porter blacking the boots that had kicked him last night.""—London Telegraph. Avcrionerg: Going! Going! Gone! Here, sir, it's yours. Great bargain, sir. The frame alone is worth the price. Connoisseur (ripping out the picture): The frame was what I wanted. —Pick-Me-Up. “Tus is an age of steel,” said the after-dinner speaker. “ Per- mit me to suggest,” interrupted the chairman, courteously, “th for the benefit of the reporters present you spell the last word." —Philadelphia Ledger. GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER ‘Ite purity has made it famous.” ou do drink, drink Trim Vi Y ble» Don’t let whiskey get the best of you! Say “Trimble” and get the best of whiskey. Pl Whiskey SOLE PRO} WHITE, RENTZ & CO. Phila. and Now ¥ Green Label. \T ALL FIRST-CLASS DEALERS ESTABLISHED 1793 “Oh be Jolly!” P. B. ALE It hasa flavor as distinctive as the flavor of a choice vint- ._ It's the flavor of the best malt and hops, at their best, blended ina perfect brew. Une taste wili tell you. Served at all leading Hotels, Restaurants, Cafes, ete, A. G. Van Noftrand BUNKER HILL BREWERIES Boston, Mass. ORTH GERMAN LLOYD EXCURSION June 27 to July 25 From Bremen Rates and Particulars Apply OELRICHS & CO. 5 Broadway, New York or any local ageat. The High Grade of Materials and Workman- ship employed in ** The Tires of Sterling Qvality.”” make them cost a great deal more to build than any other tire, but it makes them the most economical tires for the user. The putting of money without stint into quality and workmanship is what gives Firestone Tires the reputation of elevating the standard in tire building. Main Office and Factory, Akron, O. Branches and Agencies Almost Everywhere. FIRESTONE TIRE & RUBBER COMPANY. The ‘ought to vi You may are opened When th isa’t the lic There dl build your if your fat! “Now, ig things Mo