Life — May 21, 1908 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

<LIRESE: What Is a Kiss ? HAT is a kiss? What is it, sweetheart mine, That thrills and blends my ecstasy with thine? ‘Two lips with bloom and fragrance of a rose, A blossom from the soul of love that grows Around our hearts, and hopes and dreams entwine. It is the current subtle and divine Flashed from the Infinite, the outward sign ‘That telegraphs its consciousness to mine; What is a kiss? ‘The nectar of the gods, the precious wine Pressed from the grapes of life, thus souls refine; ‘The fragrant healing balm of all our woes, The lark song of the spirit that o'erflows And steeps the dawn of love: sweet valentine, What is a kiss? ma Playter Seabury. Spurned OBINSON CRUSOE was sitting on his island. It was a warm day in early spring and his flock of Harlem goats was browsing idyllically in the distance. Suddenly he looked up. A steam yacht was approaching. Before he had time to warn the custom-house authorities the yacht had dropped anchor, the launch had been lowered, and there stepped ashore a smart- looking young man. “Nice place you have here,” he observed. “Thank you, yes.” “You long for human companionship, I ~._ presume?” ~-> “Intensely.” our property ?”” Excellent bathing facilities.” The stranger measured the shore with his eye. “Yes,” he went on, meditatively, “we could put up a nine- mile board-walk along here. Splendid site for a modern, up- to-date hotel. Are you open for an offer?” he asked. “What do you propose to do?” asked Crusoe, suspiciously. “My idea is to turn this into a modern American summer resort. Nothing lacking. Piazzainfront. Bar in rear. Golf links within easy reach. Merry-go-round for children in dis- tance. Auction sales during the day of patent reversible Japa- nese screens. Armed bands of Fluffy Ruffleses in constant attendance. Music in dining-room afternoon and evening. Band concerts Thursdays and hops every Saturday. Now, sir, to business. Will you take a million?” Robinson Crusoe rose, sternly motioning back his man Frida: “Never!” he exclaimed, pointing to the open sea. “Go back from whence you came and never let me see your face again. Lonely as I am, no money on earth could tempt me to accept a fate like that.” OSTESS: I want to introduce you to Professor Hop- scotch, the celebrated Orientalist. CastLETON: Languages, rugs or brass ware? “CASEY, WHY DON'T YEZ ARRIST THIM DOGS?”” “OH, THEY'RE ALL RIGHT. HE'S A VIVISECTOR.” Love's Progression “YO YOU love me?” “Oh, I love you so much!” “How much do you love me?” “Oh, I love you so much that I can’t tell you how much lly love me as much as that?” “Don’t you love me any more than that?” “Oh, yes do. I love you so much that I can’t even tell you how little it is that I can’t tell you how much I love you. And do you love me?” “Oh, yes. So much.” “How much do you love me?” “T love you just as much as you have said you couldn’t tell me how much you love me.” “Don’t you love me any more than that?” “Oh, yes. I love you as muchas I can’t tell you how much you couldn’t tell me. Do you love me as much as that?” “Oh, yes. I love you more than that. I love you so much that if what both of us cannot tell the other how much we love should be put together, I would still love you so much more than this that I couldn’t begin to tell you how much more I couldn’t tell you. Oh, please say you love me more than this!” “Ido, Ido! I love you so much more that’””—— (Owing to a lack of unlimited space the remainder of this interesting conversation is indefinitely postponed.)