Life — May 21, 1908 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MR. AND MRS. SUBURBS EXPECT A COOK A Wide Gulf Between Them HE two babies met on the avenue; while their respective nurses. neg- lected them, they talked. “I am surprised,” said the first baby, “to see you wearing such a short coat. That is not the latest style.” “I know it,” replied the second baby, blushing; “but papa was caught in the panic, and this is the one brother wore last year.” “Hum. now?” “Ossified milk.” “That’s gone by. They have a new formula—out last week.” “Doubtless I will have it soon.” “Have you had rickets yet?” “Not yet. I’m just getting over pneu- monia.” “Ah, well, it—or is it they ?—will come, ou sleep on the roof now?” ‘ot now. I sleep there every other week, and every other week in the base- ment. That tempers one.” “But there’s something later. using the canvas treatment.” “What's that?” “Don’t you know? They put my head out of the window, and cover the rest of the hole with a canvas.” What food are you eating I'm “That will probably be next with me.” “What kind of water are you drink- ing?” “Sterilized, of course.”” The first baby drew himself up haught- ily. “Nurse,” he commanded, “I am sorry to interrupt you, but you must move me on.at once. I can no longer consent to associate with a person who is so far be- hind the times. Sterilized, indeed! Don’t you know,” he said, as he was wheeled away, “that certain selected germs are now used in drinking-water for infants in the best circles?” An Amusing Experiment R. PAWLOW, in his work on the “ Di- gestive Glands,” says: “We have here before us a dog operated upon in the man- ner I have described in the first lecture. It has had its esophagus divided so that the mouth is cut off from all communication with the cavity of the stomach. Its stomach has been washed out before the beginning of the lecture, and, as you see now, not a single drop of fluid escapes from the fistula. I give the dog food. The animal eats greed- ily, but the whole of the food swallowed comes out again at the arsophageal open- ing in the neck. . . “We have even had dogs so greedy that 551 they did not tire of eating in this fashion for five or six hours.”—London Zoophitist. The Physical Researchers probably enjoyed it, so it was not a useless ex- periment. Horizon MAN calls it the horizon where the earth and the sky scem to meet, but a woman’s notion of the horizon is the families she can see moving in, from behind her front window-curtains. If, further, they hang out their washing ina spirit of candor, they are, of course, all the more so. The horizon is caused by a number of things, chief among them the grega- rious instinct. Only for this, next door would mean as little as tariff revision, or pure food, or international arbitration. It takes a star, or something of that sort, to rise above the horizon, but a very ordinary woman may feel above it. EAD ASTRONOMER: I want a man to figure eclipses, calculate the distances between various stars, fix the orbits of certain comets and, in fact, be a sort of handy mathematical man around the heavens. What are your qualifica- tions? AppLicant (proudly): All last year, sir, I was the official score keeper for a woman's bridge club. “} { E’S a man who says that hap- piness depends on the wife.” “Oh, I don’t know. It may depend upon the fact that you haven't got one.” FILING A REMONSTRANCE comicbooks.com