Life — January 2, 1908 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ny- im you ked ing ver are fa are nd ee RN Cui oe PRE I'm going to study Philosophy and I want you to end me the best there is on the subject.” “All right; then we'll use our own judgment.” The bookworm, still holding the card, went ‘o the salesman. he best thing to do,” he said, ‘is to send him a bunch of standard Philosophies, and let him work out his own salvation.” Il right. What would you suggest?” “Well, you might put in Paulssen’s Introduc- tion to Philosophy fora starter. Then Aristotle’s Ethics, Plato’s Dialogues (the Jowett translation), Locke on the Understanding, Hume, Kant’s Critique of Reason, The Upanishads, Schopen- hauer’s World of Will, Hegel, and Lewes’s History. That ought to keep him busy for a few years.” ‘The salesman wrote rapidly. “Anything more?” he said, mechanically, as if taking an order from a customer. “No. I guess not. But hold on. Throw in James's Pragmatism to make good measure. It’s light reading, got some slang words in it, and may keep him awake.” “All right.” In thirty minutes more, poor Crupper, stagger- ing under the weight of more learning than he had ever dreamed of, entered his master’s apart- ment. Herbert Stanton smiled for the first time in days. Here possibly was a new sensation. “Take them out of the paper,” he said, “place them on that table in order, and then go away and don’t disturb me.” “Very well, sur.” A week passed. At certain regular times Crup- per appeared upon the scene, performed auto- matically his regular functions, and silently dis- appeared. Only to his friend below, the assistant chef, did he confide his worst fears. “He's in a bad way he is, I’m thinking,” he said, sadly. Only one thing did Mr. Stanton order that was different from his usual routine. At the beginning of the second day he directed Crupper to go to the book store and get a large blackboard and easel, such as are used in schoolrooms. This had been placed at one end of the apartment. On the fourth day was written on this black- board with chalk the single inscription: OnToLocy The Science of Being On the fifth day below it appeared: EpistomoLocy On the sixth day: Erco Cocitas Sum On the seventh day Crupper knocked as usual. “Come in,” said his master. Crupper entered. He glanced fearfully at the blackboard, to see if there were any signs of what he deemed further disorder on his master’s part, and breathed a sigh of relief to see that there had been no change from the day before. Perhaps he thought, in his dim way, that the crisis had passed. “Crupper,” said Stanton, abruptly, “you've been with me for five years, haven’t you?” “Yes, sur.” “And during that time you’ve seen me in some pretty tight places.” “T have thot, sur.” “Well, now, Crupper, I want to tell you that the greatest thing which can happen to any human being has happened to me, right here in this room, during the past week. You understand, Crupper?” Crupper looked painfully conscious. pulled his forelock. “Yes, sur. I’m glad to hear it, sur.” “You may well be. Now you listen to what I say. I don’t care whether you know what I’m talking about or not. You understand! You just listen. I’ve simply got to talk to somebody, and I would rather talk to you than anybody, damn you, Crupper, because I can say what I please.” “Yes, sur. You can count on me, sur. I won’t blab, sur,” said poor Crupper, almost beside him- self in solicitude over his master. ‘Go right on, sur. I’m only too glad to listen. Be asy, sur, to talk to me.” “Oh, shut up. I’m not used to talking to my- self. I may get the habit some day. In the mean- time, Crupper, don’t argue with me! When I advance a proposition, hypothetical or otherwise, conditional upon necessity, transcendental or He This sory is continued on page 32 ANNUAL SALE “The Linen Store” DURING THE ENTIRE MONTH OF JANUARY Established Half a Century As has been our custom for many years past, we shall offer during the entire month of January a full line of Housekeeping Linens, etc., at especially attractive prices. The lines offered include: Table Cloths and Napkins Pure Linen Sheets and Pillow Cases Blankets, Quilts and Bed Spreads Centerpieces, Doylies, Scarfs, Etc. Towels and Toweling Ladies’ Suits, Cloaks and Costumes French and American Lingerie and French and American Corsets We take this opportunity of also directing the attention of our patrons to several new departments recently opened in our new establishment at Fifth Avenue and 34th Street. Infants’ Wear Ladies’ Hosiery and Neckwear They include the following; Ladies’ Outer Garments We Cordially Invite Inspection Veils and Veilings We shall be pleased to forward on request 40-page illustrated booklet giving detailed description of the goods offered at this sale. James McCutcheon & Co., 5th Avenue and 34th Street, N. Y. OPPOSITE WALDORF-ASTORIA TOMiIcboo OokS.com