Life, 1907-12-05 · page 19 of 68
Life — December 5, 1907 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a Christmas-themed page from Life magazine featuring holiday content and political satire. **The "Life" Header Illustration** uses large decorative letters containing Victorian-era scenes of mistletoe romance—couples kissing and flirting—reflecting the page's romantic opening poem. **"Christmas Suggestions"** is biting political satire targeting prominent 1900s figures: - **Theodore Roosevelt**: mockingly suggests binding him a copy of the Constitution (implying he ignores it) - **W.J. Bryan**: suggests locking away a newspaper so "Teddy cannot swipe it" (referencing political rivalry) - **Senators Platt and Depew**: proposes exiling them to remote posts (Timbuctoo, China) - **Carnegie, Rockefeller, Lawson**: jabs at their wealth-hoarding and verbosity **"Weak Woman Against Strong Man"** satirizes marital dynamics—a husband repeatedly refusing his wife's (unspecified) request across the week, dismissing her as irrational while claiming financial hardship. It critiques patriarchal power dynamics humorously.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TTL Ballade of the Mistletoe HRISTMAS EVE! and shadows gray Hide the windows of the west Where the antic elves of day Cheerily have gone to rest; They have pranked, with perk and jest, In the shine and in the snow; Dreams now crown their happy quest- Dreams of gleams of mistletoc. Christmas Eve! and frolics gay— Madcap jollities—attest Other jocund folk than they Deem this night the merriest; Lad and lass, with buoyant zest, In the dance’s to and fro Hope for—softly ’tis confessed— Dreams of gleams of mistletoe. Christmas Eve!—to steal away To a dimly curtained nest! Kisses stolen !—who will say Youth and Love are not the best Gifts with which the Fates have blessed Us poor mortals here below; For we have, at our behest, Dreams of gleams of mistletoe! Envoy Christmas Eve! Ah, welcome guest From the bourn of long ago, Bring this boon to every breast— Dreams of gleams of mistletoc! Clinton Scottard. Christmas Suggestions For Theodore Roosevelt FFINE printed on a vellum page, And bound in leather Rooshian, A copy of that paper sage, The U. S. Constitution. For W.J. Bryan An issue new that he can keep— Let's rivet it and pipe it Down in some vault, secure and deep, Where Teddy cannot swipe it. For Our Senators For Tommy Platt and C, Depew Two places new and shiny— Platt, Consul down at Timbuctoo, And Chauncey out in Chiny. For Andrew Carnegie To help him in his noble scheme, Lest he perchance shall miss it Of dying poor—O wondrous dream— A busting big deficit. For John D. Rockejeller A wig to cover up his head, In color somewhat florid, And in the front, a lively red, A bang upon the forchead. For Thomas W. Lawson A phonograph filled up with gas— By phrases paralyzing, So he may into quiet pass And rest his vocalizing. For Harriman gilded thing of worth, +r Billiam’s gorgeous throne, But just one simple little eartn ‘That he can really call his own. Carlyle Smith. Weak Woman Against Strong Man ONDAY. Hr (oj the iron will): No, my dear. Not to be considered for a moment. Turspay. He: Most certainly we will not. It is ridiculous, preposterous. . He: Why you must be crazy. It’s the most unreasonable thing Lever heard of. It would bankrupt us, I tell you. It is not to be thought of. Tuurspay. He: Haven't I told you we cannot afford it!’ What is the use of talking about a thing that is already settled. Of course I would like to please you, but it is simply out of the question. Fripay. He: How much did you say st ? comicbooks.com