Life — November 1, 1906 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“WELL, 1 GUESS Nor” Senatorial Consequences (A transposition from Gilbert) NATOR HUSH was as good as gold; He always did as the railroad told. He never asked if a thing was just Or gave offense to the Sugar Trust; He never sniffed at the tainted dough Which lobbyists dropped in his hand of snow. He never squealed when the gang kept still Or stood in the way of a land-grab bill: And the consequence was he advanced in station And died at the head of a corporation. Senator Growl was a naughty boy; ‘To start reforms was his chiefest joy. He wouldn’t vote as his Boss decreed; He wouldn't pander to private greed; He said rude things to the Wall Street man When he came around with the whitewash can; And he often wrote, with a fiendish gall, “Thou shalt not steal” on the Senate wall: And the consequence was when his term was over He faded back to the tall, tall clover. Wallace Irwin. Foundation NO&PP (to Todd just back from Eu- rope): What did you cross on? “An empty stomach.” Occupations MONUMENTAL gravestone cutter. Taking extreme measures—The boot- maker. Always kicking at something—The football player. Having inside information—The doc- tor. Collecting coins—The car conductor. A great reformer—The corset maker LIAR—The Kingship s R. HARRIMAN,” says Mr. Nel- son Cromwell, “moves in a higher world, into whi may not enter.” “Foolishness !” says the Evening Post, and affects-to close the incident. But foolishness plays rather a promi- nent part in the drama of human des- tiny. What Mr, Cromwell believes is perhaps of small moment, but what Mr. Harriman himself believes is another matter. If he actually thinks he moves. in a higher world, he thereby qualifies himself to do a lot of mischief. His power is undeniably regal. If he is pos- sessed of regal delusions, likewise, what is to hinder his making a regal nuisance of himself, and having to be suppressed, perhaps summarily, as political kings who did not know their place have been? Bible Texts for the Righteous NDREW CARNEGIE: But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth, Matt, vi, 3. Joun D, RockEFELLER: But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Matt. x, 30. Tuos, W. Lawson: As sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 1 Cor, xiii, 1. Ww. J. Bryan: Hope to the end. 1 Peter i, 13. Brotner Comstock: Unto the pure all things are pure. Titus i, 15. Wituras’ R, Hearst: Study to be quiet. 1 Thess. Dr. Parkuurst: Be not overmuch, Eccles. vii, 16. PRESIDENTS OF ALL THE BLUE Law ENFORCEMENT ASSOCIATIONS : The sab- bath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath, Mark ii, 27. Carrie Nation: Wine that maketh glad the heart of man. Ps. civ, 15. Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach’s sake. 1 Tim, v, 23. ConGrEssMAN LONGWORTH: One event happeneth to them all. Eccles. ii, 14. Dr. Woop: For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south, When They Say WHEN they say: 1. That men’s clubs make good financially only in virtue of the tobacco and liquor they sell to their members; and 2. That weak tea and caramels are not susceptible, by any admixture or concom- itance of social atmosphere, of being sold for three times as much as they are worth; Do they mean: 3. That women’s clubs are fore- doomed to perish from the face of the earth? Merely Sicilian E ARE able to announce on sure information that ‘The Call of the Blood,” a novel just issued, is neither a sequel to “The Jungle” nor a story of the Pittsburg millionaires. It is a Si story. The blood is exceptionally vocifer- ous in Si “WHAT'S THAT YOU HAVE ON?" ASKED PAPA WITILA YROWN, AND THE DAUGHTER REPLIED, “TIS MY COMING-oUT Gown! THEN MY STUDIED HER CLOSELY AND ADE! IT WON'T DO TO COME ANY PARTHER, I FEAI “My DEAR, comicbooks.com