Life — October 18, 1906 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LIFES FORAGING ATTACHMENT FOR TOURISTS. THE, FEASIBILITY OF OUR SKIDOO NO. 23 ATTACHMENT FOR USE IN LARGE TOURING CARS HAS BEEN PROVED CONCLUSIVELY standard of truth and guidance—the sound of broad Scots, the sound of Brander’s Alabamese, the sound which beats against Oyster Bay or the sound sense of mere traditional English? Will the eyes or the ears have it? Can Carnegie coin, Matthew methods and _ presidential proclamations dethrone the classics? ‘They are strong and strenuous allies; but the printer and proofreader have the last crack at literature and they are not to be sneezed at. Joseph Smith. The Maidens with the Acrobatic Eyes (Compiled after reading hal a dozen modern novels) “with her eyes she riveted him to the spot.” “Her eyes sparkled as they drank in every gesture.” “His conceit perished beneath the withering gaze of her scorn-filled eyes.” “Fixing her eyes upon the reclining form, she remained immovable.” “Her trained eyes penetrated every nook and corner of the desolate room.” “He stood, rooted to the spot by her magnetic eyes.” “She permitted Ker eyes to rest upon the ceiling a moment, and then they roamed carelessly about the room.” “She returned his caress with a single glance from her beauteous brown orbs,” “‘Tsabel’s eyes took in everything that the room contained, and with a dignity befitting a queen she left the place.” “Slowly her eyes followed as he disappeared from view o’er the distant hilltop.” James W. Babcock. Morality E : answered the knock without stopping to look at her hair in the glass, and was not a little flustered, upon opening the door, to be confronted by a stylish young serpent of ingratiating address. “Madame,” said he, “I am introducing morality into this world.” “Morality!” repeated Eve, opening her lovely eyes. “I never heard of such a thing.” “Quite possible, madame. It is, in fact, something ly new; positively, I pledge you my word, the greatest discovery of all time; a convenience in the family, in society, in the church: in the family, such that your children, once they -have become accustomed to its advantages, will never be happy without it; in society, such that the newspapers will hardly be able to separate the sheep from the goats without some reference to it; in the church, such that but for it, there can be no theology with’anything like a heart interest; in fine, madame, a necessity of life, as life is destined to be lived by the best people. Can I supply you?” “Well, I don’t know. How much?” “We are making a cheap, introductory price. After it has been introduced it will cost more. For the present you have only to eat this apple, and the article is yours, to have and to hold, your heirs and assigns forever.” It was her first real bargain, understand, and she a thor- oughly womanly woman. To be sure, she had no use at all for morality, but comicbooks.com