Life, 1905-12-07 · page 17 of 60
Life — December 7, 1905 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct romantic comedy narratives typical of early-20th-century Life magazine humor. **The Main Story (Top):** A romantic drama featuring characters named Bernice and Montmorency stranded on a cold train. The satire mocks the period's social pretense: two people who affect indifference toward each other are forced together by circumstance (lost tickets, snowstorm). The humor lies in how quickly pride dissolves when faced with genuine hardship—Bernice admits she loves Montmorency only because she's hungry. A society hostess (Mrs. Baron Baron Jones) conveniently "rescues" them, revealing she orchestrated the entire situation as matchmaking. **The Cartoon:** Shows a small illustration captioned "The Night Before Christmas" with a child asking about prayers to God or Santa—light holiday humor. **"A La New England" (Bottom):** A gentler New England romance featuring Miss Mehetabel and a retired Captain—established local characters with predictable domestic routines. Both stories employ the era's standard romantic formula: pride before the fall, staged coincidences, and sentimental resolution. The satire targets upper-class affectation and contrived courtship rituals.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
° a GRA-LIFES sino 66 By the merest chance—or was it Fate ?—it happened that Montmorency and Bernice took the same train, It was a bitter cold day. In spite of their utmost efforts, the porters in the Pullman car could not bring the ther- mometer much above cighty in the shade. Bernice shivered as she drew her Union-made sealskin cloak around her. Montmorency politely but distantly offered his car-muffs, which she as politely and as distantly declined. With a smile, however. Bernice was a lady, and never showed her feelings, As they emerged from the Grand Central tunnel, Bernice lightly brushed the soot from her eyelids and settled herself over her novel She determined not to notice Montmo rency in the slightest way. Montmorency bit his lip and with a supreme effort refused to make a fourth at whist by invitation of a drummer in the next seat. Suddenly the conductor came through. “Tickets, please!” Bernice, as she felt in her muff, turned deathly pale. She had left her tickets behind her at the hairdresser’s. “You are in my power,” muttered Montmorency quietly, as he handed the conductor his week’s salary. Bernice drew herself up. “Never!” she exclaimed. “I will first get out and walk.” At this moment the train stopped. A bank of snow, fully three feet engine refused to budge. Night came down with a fell swoop—hitter, black, erucl port gleamed ¢ y offered no hope. we do Ked Bernice, beginning to soften. y smiled brightly. He had faced death in any forms, and although he inwardly shuddered when he thought what a night on the N. Y.,N. H.& H.R. R. meant, he did not betray himself. Indeed, never had he been more vivacious, The thermometer in the car dropped rapid degrees. Suddenly the sound of me the night air, It was Mrs. Baron Baron Jones, with a rescuing par igh, was in front and he dis- in seventy igh bells rang out on THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS. © MAMA, WOULD VOU SAY YOUR TRAVERS TO C 1D OR SANTA CLAUS TONIGHT?" Montmorency heard it with inward chagrin, but saw there was no time to lose if he were to break down the barrier that this proud beauty had placed between them. s, after searching for each other in the gloom of the Pintsch gas system, at last met—met in a burning glance. Montmorency folded her in his arms. “Bernice!” “Montmorency st! Then you really do love me.” ated you, but now I am so hungry that I love you. No longer will I be cruel to you.” “And why have you held off? “Because, because, 1 was afraid that if I loved you, you would fe me. “Hate you! And we not married yet!” At this moment Mrs. Baron Baron Jones walked in on snow-shoes “ You darlings! "she exclaimed. ‘‘ Believe m planned. 1 was afraid that even my house party wouldn't bring you together, so I made arrangements with the railroad it was all A La New Exoianp. OME right in!” Miss Mehetabel sat knitting in her little front par- lor as the Captain came sauntering up the tiny front walk, dragging his game leg behind him, There was no need to tell her who it was, for nobody ever got within a radius of a biscuit’s throw of Miss Mehetabel’s front blinds that she didn’t know it She was a short, spare little woman, with a tidy bunch of corkscrew curls and chilblains, and for forty years she had occupied her little cotta and doing her own cho; Nearby lived the Captain, a retired fisherman, who lived in his cottage all by his lonesome and did his own chores ge, living all by her lonesome Iso, The Captain shuffled in and sat for about a quarter of an hour on the edge of a chair holding a package in his hand, en Miss Mehetabel spoke. “Land's sak Captain, if this beant Christmas. I just suddenly remembered it. Wish you Merry Christmas.”” “Same ter you, Miss Meheta- hel. Thought you might like ter try some o' my preserved blue fish, Put ‘em up myself ’n’ can vouch for 'em.,"" There was a silence, broken only by the sound of the kettle as it. bubbled over. “Mercy me!" sud- denly lain Miss Mehetabel, sprin suddenly to her as she started for the comicbooks.com