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Life, 1905-12-07 · page 16 of 60

Life — December 7, 1905 — page 16: what you’re looking at

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Life — December 7, 1905 — page 16: Life, 1905-12-07

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This page contains two satirical Christmas tales mocking sentimental Victorian holiday fiction. **"The Pathetic Spinster Story"** ridicules melodramatic rags-to-riches narratives. Miss Pearl Handle, an impoverished descendant of wealthy "Knickerbocker families," lives in a boarding house after her father's business failure. Evicted on Christmas Eve while carrying a small tree, she nearly freezes—until a mysterious gentleman rescues her. The twist: he's James Y. Smith, her former lover who "skipped with the goods" (embezzled) but has returned as a successful insurance lawyer under the "new administration." **"The House Party Love Story"** (beginning lower right) parodies society-page gossip about Mrs. Baron Jones hosting a Christmas party and Montmorency Smyth's attendance, poking fun at the shallow social climbing of wealthy circles. The satire targets both the overwrought sentimentality of popular Christmas literature and the hypocrisy of wealthy society—particularly how financial crime (embezzlement) could be overlooked if the perpetrator later achieved respectability.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Re LIFE Sia Some Sample Christmas Stories. Tue Patue ISS PEARL HANDLE lived on the seventh floor of an Eighth Avenue boarding-house. It seemed to her as if she had always lived there—that is, ever since her father had failed in business and been caught in the act It is almost needless to say that Miss Pearl Handle came from one of the oldest Knickerbocker families. Her ancestors owned most of the Island, in- cluding the Harlem River, where the majorities come from It was Christm: id Miss Pearl came in very stealthily. Her faded face looked pinched and worn, She had just eaten a Sixth Avenue table d’hote, and was very weak and faint. The true patrician lines showed up plainer than ever. Under her faded shawl she carried a small Christmas tree. Making sure that no one saw her, and carefully Joc! ing the door, she set it up and began to trim i There was a time when Miss Pearl could have held up e land. Now all she had led blue ribbon. her head with the proudest ¢ to trim that tree with was a f This blue ribbon had been given to her by her lover, who had been a prominent thi some years bef respected paying telle But one day the market went : was on the other side of Niagara. Miss Pearl, however, had not forgotten him. Every Christmas she kept his memory blue Suddenly there was a coarse, loud knock at the door. Miss Pearl shuddered. She had heard that knock be- fore. She glanced of the window. The snow was falling fast. The flakes flurried and swirled “Come in,” said Miss Pearl faintly. The landlady entered. Her Mo with anger. “You hussy !"" she exclaimed, “You have not paid your board now for two weeks. Out with you! This ainst him, and now he Hubbard sho is no place for paupers!” Miss Pearl fell on her k “ Mercy !"" she exclaimed But the landlady paid no heed. Grasping her shivering boarder by the neck, she tore up the Christmas tree from the floor with the other hand and hurried them both down- stairs, and opening the door, thrust th out into the blinding snow. In another moment Miss Pearl's trunk came boundi dow: the steps. s looked up and down the brilliantly lighted street. Then she smiled as she thought of all the happy homes, made glad by the joyous Christmas spirit. What mat- tered it, after all, if she suffered ? Gradually she grew fainter. There was a park beyond. Ah! If she could only reach that friendly haven all would be well. Placin g the trunk firmly on her shoulders—for the trunk, ic Spinster Story, with her, had lost so much weight it was a mere feather— and grasping her Christmas tree in her hand, with the blue ribbon floating at the masthead, she trudged on. The toys in the windows nodded and beckoned at her. The snow eddied and swam before her eyes. And then— A kindly hand was laid on her shoulder. James Y. Smith, the prominent millionaire, happened to be passing that way. As he gazed into her face he uttered a cry of intense joy. Pearl! My Pearl!” he exclaimed. Then it was that Pearl opened her eyes. s this Heaven she murmured feebly. “Can it be that “It is, itis," replied James Y. Smith, He looked around fearfully. “Sh! my darling,” he muttered. “To the world I am James Y. Smith. But to my little Pearl, I am Jimmy Smith, who skipped with the goods. Two months ago I came back under the new administration, and am now president of two insurance companies and a corporation lawyer. Darling, you are saved.” She gazed up at him faintly. “1 knew it would be all right,” she said. “ But tell me, Jim, how did you happen to pass this way ?”" And he folded her in his arms as he replied: “Don't you know, darling, that the beautiful snow has put the elevated and the subway out of business, and that in spite of all my newly found wealth, I simply had to walk home.” Tue House Party Love Story. @ NOW, snow, snow, snow. Snow every where. Snow on the front and back steps, snow on the window-ledges, snow on the pavements, snow on the ash barrels, snow on the leve “Tm going to give a Christmas house party,” said Mrs. Baron Baron Jones. “What an original idea," said Montmo- rency Montague Smyth, who had just dropped in from all the clubs he belonged to. * And yt must come. Bernice will be there.” Montmorency thought of Bernice, remembered what a desperate flirt she was, what a cold, heartless coquette she was, and thought of the danger. But Montmorency was game. He hadn't lived three summers at Narragansett for nothing. “T will come,” he said quiet Mrs. Jones didn’t notice the cold, steel glitter in his eye. Bernice Marshmallow, who was passing by in her new Ru leigh and happened to look in through the win- dow, did, however. “Ah,” observed. “So Montmorency Smyth is going to the Jones house party. I see his finish!” ° comicbooks.com