Life, 1904-11-03 · page 25 of 40
Life — November 3, 1904 — page 25: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks American capitalism and entrepreneurship through a boy's diary entries. The humor targets: **The get-rich-quick scheme**: Young Tommy and his friend Ebee repeatedly subdivide ownership of a goat, selling shares to multiple boys—a transparent parody of stock speculation and corporate fraud common in Gilded Age America. **Predatory business**: The narrative exposes how boys exploit each other's inexperience, with Tommy initially profiting but later becoming victim to the "Japanese wrestle" con—a setup theft by older boys (Jonnie pocketfeeler, Henry Dodgers, Willie) who befriend him specifically to rob him. **Naive optimism**: Tommy's misspellings and matter-of-fact reporting ("it was a roten way to treat a feller") underscore his innocence as he describes being swindled. The second section, "A Relic," briefly comments on the American Colony neighborhood in New York, noting its old-fashioned simplicity—women without diamonds—as a curiosity in modern America. Together, these pieces satirize American greed and dishonesty through childish mimicry.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Fake Diary of a Fake Boy. By Tommy W. Lostsome, Boston. AY1.—Brite and fair. Ihave kept adiry since I was three years old. it is ezy for me to rite. I have a new bank with $3 dollars and a quarter init. ina weak I am going to new york to see some boys I know Jonnie pocketfeeler and his brother willie and henry h Dodgers. they said bring your bank. May 2.—Brite and fair. today I was taking pictures of myself with my new camera. I got it fixed so I can take my picture by pulling a string, Iam getting a book full of my pictures. my printing press is working buly now I printed my name in big tipe on all my pictures. May 3.—Brite and fair me and Ebee jordan bought a bily gote for $1 dollar anda haf. he bought all the gote but I own haf because I know all about. gotes and I get haf for keeping him. the man that sold him to us said he was a awful strong gote—thats what my folks said too, May 4.—Brite and fair. today Isold some of my share of the gote to four other boys for 25 cents a share. Ebee was mad and said do you think that gote is ralerode or a street car com- pany. All rite for you Ebee after to- day you got to pay me for keeping him. May 6.—Brite and fair. I sold four more shares of the gote. Nine boys wanted to buy but Ebee was so mad I didnt. he had three fites yesterday over whose turn it wastodrive. Ihave made $2 dollars and ro cents off our gote. * May 7.—Brite and fair. the gote is sick. all the boys came over to look at him. hecan'tstandup. I said I guess he will die and I would like to own all of him before he dies. Ebee sold out for nothing for he owed me 30 cents for keeping him. the other boys sold out for 5 cents a peace. May 8.—Brite and fair. tomorrow I am going to new york to see those boys. they live at 26 broadway. the gote is all rite now, he was sick because I gave him a lot of pills. mother said they had epekak in them, May 13.—Brite and fair—no I mean Tany, father wont ever let me play LDPE with Jonnie pocketfeeler or willie or henry h dodgers again and I dont want to. he said your lucky they didnt get your clothes. when I went up to their play house they said did you bring your new bank and I said yes its got $4 dollars and 80 cents in it, they said did you ever try the japanese wrastle. Isaid no, they said its great we will show you and you can work it on the boys in boston. I said all rite. they said you lay down and I did and Willie and Jonnie lade down beside me and put their foot on my foot and locked their arm in mine. then they said jap jap throw the jap and then henry dodgers went through my pockets and swiped everything I had. I couldnt move. it was a roten way to treat a feller. May 14.—Brite and fair. today I printed some cards. I am going to tell all about henry h Dodgers and those pocketfeeler boys he plays with. they are the worst gang I ever saw. they were real nice til they new I had $4 dollars and 80 cents. then henry dodgers eyes got green and blue and pink and he started that japanese wrastle. Every other boy ought to know about that place 26 broadway. May 35.—Brite and fair. today me 437 and Ebee and Daly worked the japanese wrastle on three other boys. I got a nife, a sling a trot line and 43 cents. A.C. Fulton. A Relic. AXMONG the sights of the city is the quarter called the Amerigan Golony. Here one is carried back to ancient New York. Almost everybody is dressed in good taste, after the quaint Amerigan fashion. It affects one curi- ously to meet women who are not loaded with diamonds. The old Ameri- gan institutions are preserved ; even a theatre which is not run by a syndicate, and where genuine drama is offered. ‘The inhabitants carry on various enter- prises in their own way, and their naif manner of trading among them- selves is amusing. The spectacle of scrupulous honesty within a stone's throw of Broadway is as laughable as it is odd. The Amerigan Golony is dwindling, and before long will have passed away. The younger Amerigans drift into the current of the city’s life, and the old ones die off. Besides, the land which the Golony occupies is wanted for flats and department stores. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRATIC ? Woman : vou DON'T THINK I'M IN A PRECARIOUS STATE, DO YOU, DOCTOR? Dr. Kilm : 60, NOT PRECARIOUS, BUT IN A DOUBTFUL STATE; GOTH PARTIES ARE CLAIMING IT, YOU KNOW. comicbooks.com