Life, 1904-11-03 · page 24 of 40
Life — November 3, 1904 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"A Hopeless Case"** mocks the artificial food photography industry. A woman who styles elaborate dishes for magazine photos must eat her own creations—combining expensive ingredients with inedible decorations (flowers, orchids)—to avoid waste. The joke: her profession literally kills her through absurd overconsumption, yet she's trapped by economic necessity. **"The Adams' Family Motto"** is political satire about President John Adams's Massachusetts family. Their official motto is "Aspire, persevere and indulge not," but the writer suggests it should be "Perspire, asseverate and budge not"—mocking them as sweaty, talkative workaholics who won't yield. **"'Tis an Ill Wind, Etc"** jokes about an actor (Irving Boothe) asking if his performance benefits the town. A woman replies she's already profited by selling her "rotten fruit"—implying his performance is so bad, locals prefer buying spoiled goods to watching him. All three pieces satirize modern life's absurdities and hypocrisy through exaggeration.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Mr. Gobbles' Tough Young Son: p'curv! THAT'S A PEACH COAT THE GOV'NOR'S GOT HIMSELF; 1 SER MESELP IN IT ABOUT THANKSGIVING WEEK. A Hopeless Case. “ I FEAR, my dear madam," said the phy- sician, “that your stomach will never Tecover its tone, unless you limit yourself to the simplest diet imaginable.” “Ah, sir,” cried the woman, tears rolling down her cheeks, ‘would that I could! But that is impossible.” “Impossible! Why?" ‘Because I am the wretched woman who supplies photographs of ‘dainty dishes’ to the fashion magazines. In order to photograph them, I must prepare them, and, as I cannot afford to waste expensive materials, I must eat them.”” The physician started from his chair. “It is certain death,” he cried. ‘* What have you eaten to-day, my child ? “Thad for breakfast a shredded wheat biscuit filled with candied violets and olives, with a maple sugar and grated cheese sauce, the whole surrounded with a wreath of daisies for decorative effect. For luncheon,” the horror deepening in her eyes, “a large ripe tomato stuffed with cold lobster Newburg and chopped nuts, served with a sherry and chocolate dressing. This was topped with a pure white chrysanthemum, and a few orchids were laid lightly about the plate. They made beautiful photographs.” ‘* And they call men brave,’’ murmured the doctor, ‘I now understand why so large a percentage of my patients are women.” Mrs. Wilson Woodrow. RE Christmas presents a blessing or a nuisance? ‘This question will be propounded in next week's Lire, and our readers will be asked to contribute to its solution, The Adams’ Family Motto. E observe in Crozier’s Gen- eral Armory that the motto of the Massachusetts Adams fam- ily is set down as being “ Aspire, persevere and indulge not.”” We take the liberty of believing that the motto of this Presidential family got changed at birth, and, if it had its rights, would read: **Perspire, asseverate and budge not. The Massachusetts Adamses are still a hard-working family, prone to asseveration, and good stickers, IRST MORMON: Brother Jones? Seconp Mormon : Gone East to replenish his fall stock. Where's ‘OTIS AN ILL WIND, ETC Irvinge Boothe: D0 YOU NOT THINK THAT MY PERFORMANCE HERE TO- NIGHT WILL BE A BENEFIT TO YOUR TOWN? Mrs, Casey: SURR, IT'S BROUGHT ME GOOD LUCK ALREADY! 1 SOLD OUT ALL ME ROTTEN FRUIT BEFORE NOON TIME TO-DAY comicbooks.com