Life, 1904-06-23 · page 13 of 20
Life — June 23, 1904 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical poem mocks Harvard's excessive propriety around school spirit. The setup references a real controversy: Harvard claimed Princeton's enthusiastic cheering at a baseball game was "unfair sport," suggesting emotional support was somehow dishonorable. The poem narrates a Harvard graduate's shame: he spontaneously cheered ("Rab!") during an exciting baseball moment when Harvard scored. For this outburst of genuine enthusiasm, he was expelled from his club, barred from games, and shamed by classmates. Harvard's response was to institute a rule requiring students to suppress cheers—they could only *write* approval on their cuffs, never shout it. The satire's point: Harvard's concern with "fair sport" and decorum has become absurdly repressive, punishing natural human emotion and school loyalty. The magazine ridicules the university's stuffiness and the grad's pathetic acceptance of such ridiculous rules. The bottom section, "No Comparison," is an unrelated joke about nervous betting habits.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“THE ONLY PEBBLE ON. THE BEACH.” The Penitent Harvard Grad. T * Harvard Crimson” says that there is 4 Jecling in Cambridge that the cheering at the Harvard came at Princeton was largely respon= aible for Princeton's victory, and that this is not Jair sport—Daily Paper, T was an ancient Harvard Grad, And he stoppeth one of three; “By thy broad A and glassy stare, Now wherefore stoppest thou me?” My son, they are playing a baseball game; I can see them going in; And eke with my prophetic ear I can hear the rooters’ din.” * Why shudderest thou, good Harvard Grad, What ill doth a cheer import ?” Ha’ done! ba’ done!” cried the Grad; “ My son, To cheer is not fair sport. Why do I wear this ill-kempt robe And these visible marks of shame ? My son, my son, I have evil done ; 1 have cheered at a baseball game, ‘Three bases lay fair to the summer sky! (The fielders were clad in blue) ; On each base there stood one of Harvard's sons; And the Umpire said, * Strike two !* * At the bat the Harvard Captain stood ; Two out, nor an inning more; And it locked as though Yale should that day prevail, For the score stood six to four. ** But across the plate the ball flew straight, And the Captain swung his bat,— One crashing blow, and all gazed afar To see where the ball was at. “+ It few o'er the infield, and out to left; For a moment ‘twas lost to sight ; And the Harvard Captain tore down to first. Ye Gods! "twas a thrilling sight ! The man on third came tearing in, And the man on second scored ; The man on first swept around and home, Like an angel of the Lord!” -LIFE- * God save thee ! gentle Harvard Grad t Why dost thou drop thy jaw 2” * Alas! alas! to my endless shame, 1 ejaculated * Rab!" * My fellow-grads turned, as in sudden pain ; * Pray, tell, who is that rude lout ? Sure, none of us; what does he here, With his low and vulgar shout ?* * They have stricken my name from off the Chub, To avenge the tribal shame ; They have bidden the gateman bar me out When I fain would attend a game. * They have passéd a stringent rule for all; — hou mayest read it enacted here : + If a player knock a home-run, let each Withdraw to his room to cheer; “Or, at most, let him write upon his cuff: * L have seen and approve the play,” * Ry we THIS YOUNG COUPLE ARE MOST HAPPY, RUT SOMETHING WILL SOON OCCUR THAT WILL CAN YOU G! 619 That never again may such shame be wrought As was done by me that day.” The old Grad sat him on Deadhead Hill And arrested a furtive tear, As he watched the Harvard crowd formulate A constructive or mental cheer. MW Cready Sykes. No Comparison. SAACSTEIN: This Indian “Ma. hatma,” Coben, can make his heart sbtob beating for fife sec- onds ! Cones: I baff bim skinned to death ot his own game. Vy, effery time I bet two dollars on a horse, my heart sbtobs beating till after der tace ! ESS WHAT IT 18? comicbooks.com