Life, 1904-06-02 · page 23 of 50
Life — June 2, 1904 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces typical of Life's humor: **Upper cartoon ("The Dentist"):** Shows a dentist asking a patient, "Dear me! How long since your mouth was explored?" The joke plays on double meaning—dentists exploring mouths professionally, but the patient's expression suggests embarrassment about personal hygiene or neglect. **Main text narrative:** A dialogue about summoning historical spirits (Paul Jones, Shakespeare, Henry VIII, Sir Walter Raleigh) to participate in a "historical novel" enterprise. The satire mocks the era's obsession with historical fiction and "unhistorical" dramatizations. Shakespeare is depicted as depressed and confused about authorship disputes (the "Bacon controversy"—contemporary debates over who actually wrote Shakespeare's works). The piece ridicules both historical inaccuracy in popular entertainment and pseudointellectual pretension. **Lower section ("Meanest Railroad Contest"):** A man rescues a mother and child from fire, then visits the Carnegie Hero Fund building to claim his monetary reward with bureaucratic indifference—satirizing the mechanization of heroism and charity. The overall tone critiques American culture's commercialization and theatrical treatment of history, heroism, and public virtue.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“How unhistorical their language is," I whispered to Mr. Paul Jones. “They're trying to talk like the ** Occasion- novelists, -xplained. adzooks’ and prefer their own ally they thinks,” but style, as author.” “But where are they going to send me. aincd by the mode! you?" T asked. “1 don’t know yet, but I'm afraid “Commodore Paul Jones will com- Mr. Winston Churchill with ghostly obs said Richard, with a courtly bow. “Tmight have known it,” groaned my friend, ‘* Well, I'll make him wish he had let me alone, He's made me the fashion, and now two New Eng- land women have me in their clutches. T'll give him a song and war-dance with cutlass accompaniment.” Here there was a dispute between Dr. John- son and Goldsmith, ch of whom wished to haunt a certain Moore, But both of you can't go," said “I think you bad better set forth alone, T wouldn't trust Goldsmith to come back. He would meet with other spirits and forget all about us.” “The business is almost over,"’ said Mr, Jonesin confidence ; “we're going to have a little dry refreshment after this, I know you'd like to meet some of the others, There’s Henry the Eighth, for instance. ing and original. They pass nces,"” The Dentist: DEAR ME! “1 UGA a good deal of his leisure traveling around the United States reviving some of his old matrimonial experiences.” -Idon't think I should care for I said in alarm ; “there's some- thing so headstrong about him.”* “But he's quite amiable, I you, and he and several of his wives are on the best of terms, They're not all here, you know.” “I think I should rather meet Sir ter Raleigh.” He's in the smoking-room just But he'll return as soon as the begins. W ea him, assure now. music from V few airs evening. We're obliged to; it's a part—part of the game. Richard is a rather good hand atit. He and Blondin give us a duet ionally. association wi But since we've fonned e taken death It’s an awful thing to this more seriously. be a hero." “ Who is that sad-looking gentleman in the corner?” “He? Poor chap! clubbed until he has become com- pletely depressed, His name's Shakes- peare, but he doesn’t know whether he’s himself or a syndicate, He ss he isn’t to blame for all he’s credited with, Then asted awfully about Bacon. He's thinking of send- ing a fireproof letter to the 7émes about it. But you have no idea how strongly we feel about the historical novel. If you have any influence, you might—" But here the spell of Welsh rarebit He's been he’s r HOW LONG SINCE YOUR MOUTIT WAS EXPLORED? DESIGN FOR A PROPOSED MONUMENT TO A GREAT PIILANTHROPIST. was broken, and I had to leave be- fore Sir Walter Raleigh returned from the smoking-room, /.G. Next! HE man who had just rescued a mother and her child from a burn- ing building shouldered his way through the applauding crowd and took his stand in front of the dow in the Carnegie Hero shier's win- nd Build- What number?" asked the man within the window. “He deed, number of heroic ; rescue of woman and child from burning house.”” He produced his badge, cashier took the numbers. tifling a yawn, the clerk shoved the man the amount prescribed in such ses. The hero counted the money carefully, pocketed it, and away, with an eye out for No. 13. and the moved Meanest Railroad Contest. HE winner of the Meanest Rail- road Contest is Albert C. Fulton, Kennebunk, Maine, whose contribu- tion, Number i Railroad, was pronounced the best by xteen, on the E the judyes comicbooks.com