Life — April 23, 1903 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Flirt. HERE are chaps that they sit next to one at dinners, And boys that in the German take you out. There are silver-haired and also hair- less sinners Whom youalways meet at any lively rout; ‘The lads that like to get you in a corner And spoon through all the dances on the stair, And those with sugar-plums like Jacky Horner, And the naughty ones who never take a dare! But when you meet a person ordina Serious—; Who looks the other wa And doesn’t seem your presence quite to note, Whose eyes smile rather as though you amuse him— As if, in fact, he thought he had you pat— What ripping fun—to win him—then re- fuse him ! Oh, how one Hates aman who acts like that! Kate Masterson, The Five Stages. A T seventeen she said : “T want a +* man who is ardent in all of love's s and whose passionate devotion may never flag. He must be tall and broad-shouldered and handsome, with dark, flashing, soulful eyes, and, if need be, go to the ends of the world for my sake.” At twenty she said : ** I want a man who unites the tender sympathy of a woman with the bravery of a lion. I don’t mind his being a little dissipated, because that always adds a charm. He must be, however, accomplished to the last degree, and capable of any sacrifice for my sake.” At twenty-five she said: ‘I want a THIS 18 THE SEASON. man who unites with an engaging personality a complete knowledge of the world, and if, of necessity, he hap- pens to have a past, he must also have a future; aman whom I can look up to, and with whom I can trust myself 1 times without the slightest em- sment."? she said: ‘‘I want a man with money. He can have any other attributes that a man ought to possess, but he must have money, and the more he has the better I will like it.” At thirty-five she said: ‘(I want a mun." Tom Maxson, Christening. A PROPOSAL tochristen the battle- = ship Kansas with a bottle of water instead of a bottle of wine is heard, bat the more advanced temp ance element of the Sunflower State has yet to speak. After all, why should there be any bottle? Mrs, Nation breaking a hatchet over the bows of the Kansas would at once satisfy the conventionalities, and (what isof vast importance in these days of world politics) vindi- cate the defensive prowess of the craft. F ECENTLY a little Chi- cago girl, just beginning her classics, was asked if she knew who Homer was. She replied: ‘Homer was a fine old poet, whose chief works were the Oddity and the Idiot.” HE child understands most things well enough until his teacher explains them. DOWN WITH THE GOUT. comicbooks.com