Life, 1903-02-12 · page 13 of 22
Life — February 12, 1903 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This story satirizes **early 1900s corporate monopolies and their stranglehold on American cities**. McPlunger, an airship owner, must reach London for his wedding but encounters absurd obstacles representing real anxieties of the era: - **The "Building Trust"** represents corporate consolidation—office buildings impossibly tall, blocking even airspace - **The Metropolitan Street Railway** appears as a brutal monopoly where conductors club passengers - **Parker House rolls** and various "Trusts" suggest how monopolies controlled everyday life - **Advertisements of new religions sky-high** mocks commercialization of spirituality The satire's dark humor: despite obstacles, McPlunger simply *succeeds anyway*, arriving on time for his wedding—suggesting either that determination conquers monopolies, or that the obstacles are too absurd to stop him. The private secretary's resigned parachute escape underscores the helplessness ordinary people felt against corporate power in this period.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Man Who Didn't Fail. (a NionTMane of Toe PUTURE.) T Pittsburg the air- ship was stalled for an hour by the soot. a Mc Planger, y the owner, was beside himself. “To-morrow,” he fumed, ‘' is my wedding-day. I must be in Lon- don by four o'clock sure, or forfeit my reputation.”” Several local society leaders came forward with offers of a soot plough. ON, said McPlunger, ‘ these modern appliances are no good. I shall use, after all, the old-fashioned hot-air blower.” As they rose finally through the soot, they were greeted by cheers from eighteen million throats. New York was next. How to get by was the question. In half an hour they sighted the offices of the Metropolitan Street Railway rising to a heightof several miles. s they came near they saw people being clubbed by the con- ductors, Several thousand children flew in their way, but McPlunger ran through them mercilessly. “ London or Bust!"’ was his motto. “We might go South,” suggested his private secretary. “Somewhere along the Atlantic coast there ought to bea break in these office buildings enough to let us through.” His master frowned, “ What do you think the Building Trust has been doing — sleeping nights?" he asked satirically. “Not on your life! Our only hope is the coast of Greenland.”’ They passed Boston in fifteen min- utes. The secretary shivered. Adver- tisements of new religions were sky- high on the horizon. “What's that we've struck?’’ he cried, as the machine plunged and swayed from side to side. “Those are Parker House rolls,” said McPlanger, “ Well, I'll be hanged, if there isn’t a row of office buildings ten miles high right up the coast of Greenland. No air is deep enough to let us get over them.”’ “Let's go back to 'Frisco,"’ said the private secretary.‘ You were married A VALENTINE. only last week. Won't you wait an- other week before you are married again?”’ “Not” can't, it.” ** Well,” said the private secretary, getting out his parachute, ‘I'll resign job right here. I'm going to work my way back to 'Frisco, if it takes all day.”” So saying, he dropped off at Halifax. McPlunger sat for a long time over the Provinces in deep thought. “There's only one way out of it,” roared McPlunger, “I Besides, the girl expects he muttered, ‘I'll do it, if it costs me my life.’”” Thereupon he called up the London Flying Machine Trust by wireless, “Have a machine on the ocean side of New York, with all possible speed,’’ he aired, ‘and wait for me.”” “Very good, sir,” was the reply. *¢ And now,” said McPlunger, “ back to the Harlem River. It's the only route I know.” At three-thirty the next afternoon he was ready for the ceremony, his comicbooks.com