Life, 1903-02-12 · page 14 of 22
Life — February 12, 1903 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces mocking American society's absurdities: **"Wonders"** describes miraculous urban events (a trolley stopping at the right place, a courteous policeman) so improbable they shock bystanders—until normalcy returns when an automobile speeds recklessly through crowds. The satire attacks dangerous driving and poor city services. **"Beware of Love"** sarcastically mocks vivisectors (animal experimenters) claiming to love animals while performing painful procedures on them. **"Society"** ridicules the wealthy for trivial concerns: Mrs. Snubber nearly falls but is unharmed because she's rich enough to matter; Miss Heep's mild wardrobe complaint becomes gossip fodder. **"Books"** contrasts Lincoln's limited reading with modern educated readers' consumption of many books—yet Lincoln was wiser. The satire suggests quantity doesn't equal genuine learning. The Humpty Dumpty illustration references the nursery rhyme, likely about irreparable damage or failed restoration.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
138 -LIFE- pale, emaciated and bruised form, how: terrible effects of his ordeal. “Darling,” said his latest bride, “how did you here? How did you get over those American office buildings?” “I didn’t,” said McPiunger faint I left my machine on the other side, and for your sake I faced death ina thousand forms, and walked through the streets of New York!” Tom Masson. er, showing the Wonders. WAGON loaded with hard coal came up the street. The excitement was intense, Suddenly a trolley car stopped and let a man off precisely where he wanted to get off. Many pinched themselves to see if they were awake. In the midst of it all, the policeman whose duty it was to be there was there, and treated everybody courteously. Persons with weak hearts began to fall dead. But now an automobile, going eighty miles an hour, tore through the dense mass of people. Wonders had ceased ; the spell was broken ; the world wagged on in the old way. Beware of Love. T is reported that the vivisectors are getting up a Society for the Prevention of Kindness to Animals. We don’t believe it, These slanderous reports will travel. Besides, you know, the vivisector loves animals. We had an uncle who loved lamb, Society. ‘Ts. BULLIFAT INKUMS have gone South, They will remain there until they come back. Mrs. Inkum gets all her potatoes of Tiffany. There is a rumor floating about that Miss Flissie Heep, second daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Toppother Heep, wore a hat last Thursday that did not quite please her. We sent a reporter to the house, and he was officially informed that the rumor, while based on fact, was somewhat exaggerated, ters from the Vee York Tribune were already on the doorstep when our representative arrived. Mrs. Hardy Snubber, last Monday, was walking from her costly equipage to the doorway of an expensive WS ER MUMPTY DUMPTY FAT ON A WALL, RUMPTY DUMPTY NAD A GREAT PALL; ALL TUE KING'S HORSES AND ALI COULDN'T PUT NUurty pewrty TocETHE: Books. I INCOLN read only a few books, and not always the + best books, and was highly educated. We read a great many books, and very good books, and are much less highly educated, as a rule. Tho business of books is to set a man to thinking. After he has been set to thinking, what he needs most of all is time to think, jeweler, when she noticed a slippery place upon the side- walk. Had she not seen it in time she might have fallen. She has about seven millions in her own right, Ata dinner given by Mrs. Innittor Dedd in her palatial mansion on Madison Avenue recently, Mrs, Shaidee Ppast began to laugh while drink- ing champague, and she al- most choked. WHAT Is Hom WITHOUT & CooK? comicbooks.com