Life — September 12, 1901 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IN THE FUTURE. Firet Billionaires Son; wuat piv You Get Fon TOUR BIRTODAY? Second Biltionaire's Son: 1 GOT A RAtLNOAD. “THAT'S NOTHING, I GOT A WHOLE arstEs.” Discoveries. AW: ENISEGTION as a whole has claimed some p results, and, to give the devil his due, I will quote all I know, They are, upon the authority of Dr. Smith, thes An American doctor shaved the far from some animals snd placed them In a freezing tempera- ture. They caught cold. We learn from that to wear warm clothing In winter. Frogs have been placed in boiling water, They endeavor to escape, showing that patn ts caused, We learn that we should avoid bathing in boiling: water The dog Into whose stomach boiling water had been poured died tn great agony. We learn to avold pouring bolling water through a tube Into our stomachs. ‘A frog was cut open and planed to & board to show the combined effects of pain and exbaustion, It died, This teaches us to avold pain and exbans- tion, But here, as far as I can ascer- tain, the practical results cease. Ciaude Kernard, the great vivisector, well might say, “Our bands are empty but our mouths fal! of promises." —Lecons au Collége de France. Yes, and these promises have been going a-begging for over two thousand years; and it is now time that we ceased to believe in them, 215 or to sanction the damnable tortures which form the foundation of the structure the vivisector is still attempting to build up. Pull down this unscientific brutality ; treat the scientific brute on the same level as the coster brute; abolish an act which can make cruelty to any of God's creatures legal; and help us to deliver the beneficent practice of medicine from the devil-strewn road of torture Dr, Wail in The Animals’ Friend, Her Reward. T TELL the cook just what to cook And how to cook it, though 1 feel her fixed, indignant look As if she did not know! Ire-arrange with loving care The table's furnishings, Ani lay some roses, here and there, Among the spoons and things. My prettiest waist I don, and dress My hair in dainty trim, Prizing my own attractiveness As offering joy to him— And then he comes! “Oh, hello, dear! Dead tired. Turn down that blaze. No letters? Any company here? Whereis the dog?” he says. Madeline Bridges. The Right Man. IRST POLITICIAN: Well, they're going to nominate Mc- Miler. Has he a clean record? Seconp Ponitictan: Clean as a whistle. Never was known to refuse “THAT'S WHAT 1 GET POR MIXING THOSE GOLP RALLS wit My Zoos,”