Life — August 15, 1901 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Petcy’s Breach of Promise Suit. LOVELY Phyllis loved a lawyer, 4 Perey Algernon McPhee, Who was waiting for a practice, Waiting long and patiently. (Also, tho’ she proudly scorned him, She'd a slave in Reuben Lee.) Slowly passed the ling’ring seasons Like a long-protracted dream, Till the legal mind of Percy Hit upon.a novel scheme. " Phyllis, dear," he said one evening, When the gas was turned down low, “Far from me be all complaining, But I find the law is slow. “So, to hasten on our wedding, T've evolved a little plan. Now, don’t start, dear, but just listen; You must love some other man ! “(And, I don’t mind hinting, dearest, I'd select rich Reuben Lee.) Lead him on till he proposes, ‘Then accept him gracefully. + Treat him gently till you feel he's Firmly fixed upon the hook, ‘Then just play him as the angler Plays the troutlet in the brook ! ercy chuckled.” “Make him prance and make him grovel, So that, weary of his life, He declares, in anguished accents, You shall never be his wife. “IL find the law Ls stow.” “Then, his billets-dour collecting, Come and call on your McPhee, Who's been waiting at a distance Calwly, but expectantly. “ And together we'll consider, And together institute Just a little twenty-thousand- Dollar breach of promise suit!” Phyllis, tho’ at first reluctant, Was, at last, completely won ; And the pact was sealed with kisses As the clock was striking one. Two weeks later Perey chuckled, As he read his Morning Bee, At the news of the betrothal Of his love to Reuben Lee. All that day he spent in Harlem, Vainly searching for a flat, Which would hold a small And his darling’s theatre h But that night, when tire 9 Opened his hall-bedroom door, Here's the note he found from Phyllis, Lying blankly on the floor : “Dearest Perce" (it ran), “I'm sorry That our plans have fallen through— When a man’s in such a hur Pray, what can a poor girl do? ‘So, reluctantly, I write you, That this afternoon at three, At the church around the corner, I was wed to Reuben Lee. P. 8.—When the honeymoon is ended Come and have a cup of tea!” J. H. Holliday.