Life — August 15, 1901 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘Tie coatless man puts a careless arm ‘Round the waist of the hutless girl, As over the dustiess and mudless ronda a horscless carriage they whirl, Like a leadiess bullet from a hammertess gun, By smokeless powder driver ‘They fy te the xpeechiess Joy By endiess anton given, ‘Though the only lunch bis colntess parse Adfords to them the means Is n tasteless meal of boneless cod With a “side” of stringtess beans, He putts a tobaccoless cigarette, And langhs & mirthiess laugh When papa tries to conx her tack By wireless telegraph, —Loston Ierald. Tue late Flavius Josep! ok Was long on faith and short on love, That Is to sty, he lacked aweetness, generosity, aincerity—the qualities that win men’s lasting confidence In a preacher. He carried an audience of non-thinkers by storm, bat the scholars distrusted him, and when the people began to see through his © gallery plays,” bis hold upon the public loosened For ten years he was the successful Boanerges of the “Monday Pop" lecture platform. The thundering champton of orthodoxy, he rode down sctence and discussed dogmatically, in“ preludes.”’ all things In heaven and earth, once & week, with advantage to hls pocket and fame, As Barrett Wendell put It: © He sald things with » bang.” That was u lifelong characteristic, Walking through the college yard with the present writer one day, Cook sud. denly stopped, seized his astonished companion by the arm, glared at him and cried : “Do you see that blade of gracs? It is a mlracte.”” —Buffato Commerctat A YOUNG Arizona lawyer who recently visited Detroit gave the following as an example of the style of justice that prevails in some remote sections of the frontier : A certain Justice of the peace, whose knowledge of the Jaw was never gained from Looks or actual pnictice before the tar, was heanng an assault and battery case. The lawyer for the defence was shouting his arguments when the court sald : “That will do. Set down.” He then adjusted his spectacies and sagely observed : “Prisoner, sthand up! Accordin’ tah th’ law an’ th? evydince—an’ there 1s no evydince- Ot foind yez gully, sor, an’ foine ye $50 If yez alr guilty, faith, it's a very loight sintince ; an’ if yez alr not guilty Ivll be ® mighty good lesson for ye."— Detroit Free Press. “ EMINENT foreign sctentists have found out that a grass- hopper's ears are in tts legs.” * How did they ascertain that?" “They put the ‘hopper’ on a board and tapped the board wently.”* Well?" “The creature hopped away. Then they cut off Its legs, pat {ton a board again, and tapped the board as before, and it didn't hop away. It coaldn’t hear the tap, you see.” “ What a wonderful thing science ts."* —Chicago Tribune. A wire minister was conducting religious services in a colored church tn North Carolina recently. After exhorting & bit, he asked an old colored deacon to lead In prayer, and this ts the appeal which the brother tn black offered for bis brother in white: “0 Lord, gib him de eye ob de eagle dat be spy out sin Afar off. Glue his hands to de gospel plow, The bis tongue ‘ail bis ear to de goxpel pole. to de line ob truth, Bow bis head way down between his knees, and his kces way dye tn some lonesome, dark, and narrer valley, where prases 4 much wanted to be made, *Noint bim wid ile kerowese ob salvashum and sot him on fire,"—Loanole Nery, ins: We fed our baby on modified cow's milk the tee six months, but the milkman did not unde modify his cows property, and in consequence ti flesh Ull he welghed bat one pound. Inow of your celebrated Infant's Food, This the baby managed, trade off to the dog for some dog-blacatt, wi 1s now well and hearty. The dog died, but dogs are cheap We are grateful to you, Indeed. You may use my tase ¢ you Iike.—Joun Jones."— Detroit Journal. “HELLO, central! Give me one triple nought, south.” “What?” “ Don’t you catch 1t? One zero, zero, zero, south.” ewhatr + South one double nought nought.” Can't you speak plainer? ADVERTISEMENT—A New Historical Romance. Posts] the Great American Novel! Written by Anamiuta Jesssecy Featherstone, with one hand tled behind her! Toe isd hundredth thousand sold before the author had gives te book a thought, or, Indeed, before she had written more tua fifty chapters! Profusely illustrated with nine thoawsi steel plates having nothing whatever to do with the «er and twenty-seven thousand wood engravings only reese bearing upon the same! For sale at all dry-goods stops —Lntroit Jones. For salo by all N national Company, London, England, AGENTS. wradeaters Breat Britain. The Inter. reamn’s Building, Chancery Lane, ECROPFAN AGENTS—Mesars. Breataso, 37 Avenue de l'Opera, Paria, That’s THE WILSON DISTILLING Co., Baltimore, Md ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE A Powder for the Feet. 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