Life — November 8, 1900 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PREHISTORIC AMERICA. WE.WILL HAVE TO MOVE FARTHER WEST, THESE NEWCOMERS WITH THEIR MODERN WEAPONS ARE KILLING ALL OUR GAME. Mound Butlder : The Reason! <<). VERY now and then, E there bobs up in print the question of why the country boys run away from the old farm and goto the city,” said the Sage of Kohack, in one of his raminative moods. “T have studied the subject considerably, and I can find only one plausible reason for it. “In the country we never have nerv- ous prostration or appendi- citis, or the ‘elagious ear, or microbes, or general breakin’ down, and only occasionally git sunstruck in the hayfield or while lammin’ up rails, or break our rural backs choppin’ cord-wood, or are baked alive while scrougin’ back the timothy or red-top or clover in the haymow or are kicked at into the middle of the subsequent week by an unapprecia- tive beef-critter. Out in the broad, green, free country we face no danger of bein’ run over by the clangin’ cable car or kneaded all out of shape by the haughty automobile—but are only just simply and agriculturally cut to pieces by tlfe mowin’ machine's jiggerin’ knives. In the city, if you die you are down, walked over, out of it, and forgotten, but when the harvest machinery gits hold of us country folks, our friends come from as far as fourteen miles away to sigh over our segregations and wonder if our sorrowin’ relatives managed to match us together like we used to be. We cut some figger when we git killed’in the country, lemme tell you ! “In the city, it is part of the young man’s job to tremble and grow obsequious at the pompous approach of the side- whiskered, double-chinned octopus of monopoly who holds his ultimateness in the palm of his hand; but in the country, where all men are free and equal, and everyone is just as good as every other one, and upon occasions a * darned sight better; where the scent of the new-turned soil awaits the coming of the sensitive-nostrilled novelist from the city, we have nothing worth mentionin’ to do to retain 4 comicbooks.com