Life, 1900-11-01 · page 5 of 20
Life — November 1, 1900 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 345 **"Three B's" Poem**: A brief satirical verse by Paul West mocking three entities—likely political figures or institutions of the 1900 era—where "the third B is the bill!" **Main Illustration**: "The Bride's Soliloquy" depicts a woman in elaborate wedding dress with the caption "To-day I am his; to-morrow he will be mine." This appears to satirize marriage dynamics, possibly commenting on women's legal or economic power within matrimony—a social commentary on gender relations. **"Poss Asshorum" Letter**: A lengthy satirical piece mocking President McKinley's administration (referenced explicitly), particularly ridiculing the idea that Republicans control weather/prosperity through a "Meteorological Bureau." The satire attacks claims that McKinley's policies artificially produce agricultural abundance, equating government control of nature with the "schemes of calamity-crying Democracy." The page satirizes Republican political claims and gender relations circa 1900.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
-LI Three B's. RIES HREE B's there be, three The twain are comrades staunch and busy B's! Together go always. Two of them cater to my ease, ‘The third curtails my days. true, The other makes me ill. The Bottle and the Bird are two, The third B is the Bill! Paul West. Poxs AsixonuM on THe Wanast, 15 September, 1900. M* DEAR FATWIT :; This is the most extraordinary country I was ever in, and my studies in American sociology will produce a sensation when In Europe we attribute the variations of the seasons, the eccentricities of meteorology, the prodigality of the harvests, the fertility of the soil, and matters of that sort to causes beyond the power of man. In America these things are all regulated by that marvelous man, President McKinley, and his political advisers. Causes and effects usually attributed to Di ine Providence by the superstitious inhabitants of Europe, are in America managed by Mr. McKinley. of the Republic have no reason to doubt its verity. The government in power has under its control a Meteorolog- ical Bureau, which manages a weather laboratory in Washington, and it is prepared to distribute sunshine, rain, ice, snow, heat and cold upon requisitions endorsed by eminent Republican statesmen. The large wheat crop of 1899 was arranged by the McKinley Cabinet. Ascertaining through its admirable secret service corps that a crop shortage was due in Europe and Asia, they ordered an enormous grain yield from the Bureau, and balked the schemes of calamity - crying Democracy. I believe we ought to have a similar political, meteorological agency in England, and I will submit details of its workings on my return. You see that it permits a government to pro- duce prosperity and adversity at will, and States stubbornly antagonistic to the powers that be are handed over to the weather experts for discipline. It was thought that Mr. McKinley lost his temper and rather overdid the thing in Texas re- cently, but an eminent Cabinet officer assures me that the Galveston hurricane was the work of Bryan burglars, who broke into the Bureau and tampered with the machinery. McKinley repudiates the hurricane. You will understand that it is much more modern and scientific for agricultural societies to p ion the President for big harvests, than to have churchmen praying for weather at the wrong time ; and during the picnic season, a better public feeling is produced and wet feet and rheumatism avoided, by picnickers filing an appli- cation with the local boss for good weather on a certain date. It is a wonderful governmental scheme, though it seems to work badly in Democratic hands, for over here every patriotic Republi- can knows and says that Democrats have an abnormal and depraved passion for adversity, bad harvests, miserable weather and low wages. ‘This is a wonderful country. Yours, St. Lecer Dutiucrst. “TO-DAY 1 AM MIs. His friends assert this calmly, and the intelligent freemen THE BRIDE'S SOLILOQUY. TO-MORROW NF WILL BE MINE.” MASTERLY CONCEPTION, dying by the roadside, = was met by a compassionate Cake of Soap. “Don’t despair,” said the Cake of Soap. live, for I will have you put in one of my ads.” You will THE oldest living things on earth are the big trees of California, and the newspapers tell as often as once a week that most of the groves of them have been sold to lumbermen, and are being sawed up. It hurts to read about it. If the big trees can’t be saved we would rather not read of their destruction. Are there no million- aires left in California who want to own big-tree parks? Is anyone preparing to speak to Congress about them when Congress meets again? Some of those trees are as old as the pyramids, To cut them up for lumber is thrift of the same order as to crush the stone of the Palisades into road metal.