Life — February 1, 1900 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

«LIFE » Nanghty Froga: 1, THER AFRAID MEK DAD WAS A: HOVER CUSINON? YOUNG NOP-AU-GO-PFTCH-TE! WAS You YINNED ON THE Repubilc in the world to use “dare” agatnst a nation which withstood the power o Napoleon, which tnvaded Russta, and which has, in spite of follies and blunders, such @ glorious record ay Britain's little Isle, Ax for Venezuela, Sallsbury replied tn correct fashion to Cleveland's courteous and. diplomatic message, and the award of the arbitrators Is & proof of the Justice of Britain's chat, “In Ist they hurt wh Washington City." Ls find out what Canadian village was destroyed by a Unite prior to the attack on Washington, War Is not pretty reading for elther side. Finally, let him consider that the Canadian and Austnattan forces now in the Transvaal are rolwnteers from free and enlightened nations that offer unfelgned devotion to the Motherland — such devotion as no tyrant ever recelved, After this terrible struggle, It 1s to be hoped that the Uttlanders of the Transvaal will have representation us well aa taxation. Doustant Reader’? has misnamed himself, Had he perused the editorial page of Live, he wonld have learned xomething of moderation and culture in the express Ix views. Me may be ® member of Cian-na-Gael, or a sympathizer with the chivalrous gentlemen who murdered Burke and Cavendish In Phoenix Park, If s0, he had better invade Canada, In which case he will find that the Irish-Canadtan Toronto boys know how to repel {nvaders, as well as did thelr fathers tn 1466, JANvany 6, 1900, natant Reader" States genera! AN Intsit Burtos. Dean Lire: I notice that my ‘letter,’ pub- lished tn your paper of December 7th hus stirred Up some of our Augto-maniac friends, Wut no of the ea the truth of the statements contal in that “letter.” Your Canadian correspondent resorts to very poor doggerel in his reply, and asks why © A Constant Reader" does not Join the Boers. Well, Id know that # man who served 1p our late Civil War ts too oid for army service now, If he ts 4 of the Queen,” why does he not present himself as a target for the Boer sharp- shooters tn uth Africa’ ‘The other correspondent, “E. HL. 8. Ignores the last part of my ‘letter tn reference to our Tate Civil War, It ts estimated that the assdstance rendered tue South by England, from 1861 to 1865, prolonged the war two years, costing the North and South hundreds of thousands of lives and hundreds of millions of dollars, We, who served In the Union army, Fespect and admire the Confederate soldier, but we despise the hypocrites, who assisted those brave but misguided men, not because they loved them, but because they hated our whole country and were anxlous to destroy our temporarily benefiting Union and perpetuate stavery, in the hope of themselves, In regard to the comparison Letween George I1f. and Victorta, 1 would say that more blood has been spilt during Victoria's retgn than daring the relgn of any other English sovereign, and this blood has come from the velus of unarmed, or half-armed, Hindus, Zulus, Egyptians and Dervishes, who have been mowed dowa by England's gallant soldiers. Cutcaco, 1900, “ A CONSTANT READER.”* M RS. VON BLUMER wanted to give a theatre party. Von Blumor opposed it, “If you will permit mo, my dear,” he said, politely, “I will give you my reasons, Your idew is, of course, to bring our friends together for an evening where we can mutually enjoy each other's society, In tho fret place, there is probably no play we can seo that a large proportion of tho guests haven't been to ulready. Then consider, if you will, the actual time wo will have to enjoy ourselves in, Wo will atl meet, say, at eight o'clock, and the probability is tbat each one will bo thrown with some one ho doesn’t care for, We will sit in a hot, stuffy theatre all the evening, secing a play we would rather not 800 or wo have seen. After it is over, contrary to the habits and in- clinations of most of us, wo will go Into u gilded restaurant, and cat enough indigestible food to insure our unhappiness for the next twenty-four hours, Wo will then part, each one saying how do- lightful ft has all beon, and each ono thinking in his heart what a bore it bas all been, Now, my dear, take my advice, Havo a social evening where we can all meet and talk and havo a good time, and serve somo light rofreshment that leaves no disquiet.” “Impossible,” exclaimed Mrs, Von Blumer, “ Why, that wouldn't do at all.” “But why not?” persisted her husband, make people happy rather than miserable?” “That hasn't anything to do with it,” replied Mrs, Von Blumor with somo asperity. “We have got to givo something, my dear, that overyoue will know has cost money.” His Objection Not Sustained. “Isn't it better to “DO YOU PUT THOSE LANGE APPLES ON TOP, UNCLE PACKER, POR TU SAME REASON THAT YOU COMB YOUR HAIR OVER THE BALD sror comicbooks.com