Life — February 1, 1900 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GOLFING TERMS. TWO UP AND H—LL TO PAY. Breaking Even. ¢€ > XCUSE me, Brother Sogback,” said an Arkansas matron, who was one of the High Pirates at the church festival, addressing a determined-looking gentleman, who was gastronomizing at one of the tables, ** but are you— ah!—going to stop cating pretty soon? You have your fifth bow] of oyster stew now, and— ah! — “The case,” replied Brother Sogback, with his mouth full, “stands like this, Sister Hooks: You made me pay in advance, I forked over a five-dollar bill, and you sweetly told me that, as it was for the benefit of the church, it was against the rules to give any change back. So, now, Sister, I'm goin’ to keep right on eatin’ till one of three things happen—till the rules are amended for my benefit, orl git my money's worth, or bust, That's the kind of a man I am, Sister Hooks.” A Speedy Way. “THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL” RS, SLIMSON: I've wanted the drawing-room C7 PHERE wasa little girl refurnished for a long time, but my husband has But a curling-iron hot And sho had a little curl, lays said to wait until the things were really useless, Burnt that curl a dreadful lot, And it bung right down on ber Mrs Catrerson : How are you going to manage it? And now sho looks simply hor- forehead,” Easy enough, The baby is in there now.” ridt Paul West,