Life — February 25, 1897 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘> LIFE: OUT OF HIS ELEMENT. INGLEY: foreigner. Hastincs: How is that? “Had some business in the City Hall yesterday.” Sone OF THE SHERIE am monarch of all I serve, ch? I can tell how it feels to be a AN OFF DAY. RIVVET: What is the stock market doing? Dicer: Practically nothing to- day. Congress isn't in session. THE FAT MAN’S APOTHEOSIS. I OES anyone know wherefore the heart of a woman clings to a fat man? Nature scarce offers any object in the whole range of her attrac- tions less heart-stirring than he. And yet I have seen wives, sweethearts and sisters — mothers, of course, don’t count —who became the most abject slaves, mere oda/esgues, in the presence of a man whose two hundred pounds of adipose tissue was all compressed into a paltry five feet five inches, heels inclusive. And these were not ill-favored women in point of culture, either. I can recall quite readily a score or so of such amiable and devoted spouses who were among the shrewd- est, most politic and brainiest_ wo- CUPIDS OF ALL NATIONS.— ENGLAND. men I ever = met, and who certainly knew what Far from it. [ LecTuRE Room} or culinity, with a head shining like they liked and were well fitted a billiard ball, whom she dotingly by nature to get it. More, 1 called husband. know that a large percent- I age of them were cultured women of the world, sev- Wt JAY BRAYIN LECTURE knew one woman who was rated quitea belle before marriage, who went great lengths (her set ESCAPING GAS. cral of them society wo- men, accustomed to the companionship, even de- voted attentions, of the Beau Brummels of their circle, Yetthese same wo- men—“‘persnickety” to the last degree in their estimate of other men did they show the least flaw in physique, s, or conduct-—regarded as fault- nay, fascinating toa dangerous point, some fat, baggily-trousered, doubled-chiyned, comfort-secking, ponderous-footed chunk of mas- said so!) to angle for and capture a fat man fora husband, and, hav- ing succeeded, has apparently led a life which can only be compared to the bliss of the cherubs ever since. Now I do not mean to say that the fat man is unworthy the apoth- eosis. Most fervently I deny any such intent. I'll go farther, and say that I never yet saw a case in which I was guste sure that he was unworthy. (I don’t know why, but it's so!) But did anybody ever see a fat man tyrannized over? If