Life — February 18, 1897 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

him !), that the cacoethes scribendi is mair for Scotland than any ither eepidemic in its hail history.” The chairman, after carefully consult- ing his glossary under the desk, said that the inspiring words of his reverend friend must bring a thrill to every truce Anglo-Saxon bosom, and asked the Honorable Remus C. Harris to respond for the Afro-American branch of that grand race. Mr. Harris came forward diffidently, and said: ‘*Wunce upon a time Br'er Fox he gin a pahty, and he invite Br'er Eagle and Br'er Lion to pahticipate; and bofe on em dey jess natchilly pahticipate. W'en de dinnah hit wuz ready, Br'er Lion he say, in his modest way, befo' he wuz axed, ‘Ef it all de same to you, Mister Fox, I'll take a slice of de w'ite meat,’ and Br'er Eagle remark, quite servig- WISH MY DAUGHTER HAD ELOF D WITH THE COA *LIFE: ‘Dahk meat good enuf for me, ef I kin git enny.’ But Br'er Fox he make apology and say: ‘Ve'y so'y, gem- mens, but the onliest dish on de bill o° fa'r to-day is Oatmeal. He'p youselves, gemmens. I had an American goose fo’ my luncheon jess befo' I comed in. The eloquent representative from Darkest Georgia was followed by a Canadian gentleman who spoke in the Acadian patois, with which, unhappily, neither the speaker nor his hearers seemed to be acquainted. To relieve the embarrassment, the chairman, givirg a hitch to his newest dialect costume, inquired in his most tarry voice if any lubber aboard would be kind enough to crawl over the cross- trees and lend a hand at splicing the keelson in plain Anglo-American lingo. Thereupon arose Mr. J. Townsend Fadde of Manhattan Island, and, NOBLEMAN, WHO IS MAKING HER LIFE MISERABLE. “SEVER MIND, MRS, GOLDBRICK, FERHAPS SHE WILL YET." MAN INSTEAD OF MARRYING THAT WORTH: 137 expectorating genteelly over his left shoulder, said: “Wottell! I move dat we adjourns till dese foreign ducks has time to buy a primary-school primer and larn to read dead-casy words of one dinky little sylla- ble. Ifany gent don't like de motion, let him come down here and say so. I won't do a ting to him.” But nobody seconding the motion or accepting the courteous invitation, the chairman read a letter from Mr. George Merrydeath, during which Mr. Fadden fellasleep, and Dr. Drumtochty asked in vain for a translation into Gaclic or any other known modern tongue. Mr. Merrydeath wrote: ‘While not failing ia any lack, but rather the con- trary, of enthusiasm in a matter which, beyond peradventure, must appeal to every lover, whether or not, or, rather, because thereof, or otherwise, of the lingual links in the chain that binds, without fettering, the two great branches of acommon, and yet uncommon, race, | fcel it only my duty, and a sacred duty, to say so in unmis- takable language.” The unanimous verdict of those present is that if any more meetings are to be held, it will be necessary to engage the services of an interpreter. The “common tongue of Shakes- peare and of Mil- ton" needs moist- ening to make it of any use in an Inter- national Authors’ Peace Convention; and experience proves that Scotch whiskey and water are not adequate to the purpose. The former must be drunk with a glos- sary, and the latter is altogether thin- ner than blood. James Jeffrey Roche.