Life — February 18, 1897 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

136 THE INTERNATIONAL AUTHORS’ PEACE CONVENTION. URSUANT to a call issued by the President of the British Association of Authors a year ago, at the time of the Venezuelan imbroglio, a joint con- vention of British and American authors was held recently in this city, ‘to con- sider,” as the invitation said, ‘‘the best means of maintaining and perpetuating amicable relations between the two great branches of the race which enjoys the same institutions, cherishes the same diversified and picturesque forms of re- ligion, and, above all, speaks the same language, the language of Shakespeare and of Milton.” As an intense lover of the mother country personally, officially, of Her Majesty's Loyal Fenian Filibusters, I attended the deliberations id as a member, of what promised to be the most mo- mentous international convention of history. Mr. Rudyard K. Mulvaney was unani- mously chosen presiding In calling the meeting to order he made a few well-chosen remarks, in which he said that he was glad to welcome the sahibs present, and only regretted that they had not brought their mem/og along, as lovely woman, outside of the domestic sphere, was always in favor of peace. ‘* However,” he added, ‘as the proverb as officer. > LIFE: hath it, ‘ Because one hath nota rupee, he should not despise the humble And as it is sometimes best to begin at the beginning, I would call upon the charming writer whose mis- sion it is to be the laureate of infancy; for if there be in all the world a common language, it is that of thecradle. I would Mr, J. Whitcomb Hoosier to ea few remarks.” Mr. H. arose, amid thundering applause, and said : anna.’ “Wunce ‘er wuz a itty boy. *Nen ‘ere wuz a nudder itty boy Wun itty boy he say ‘Goo-go. Nudder itty boy he say ‘Goo-go,’ too. Bofe itty bo: same, cause dey budd Good itty buddies, dey don't qu’oll, ‘cause dey talk de same ‘Goo- goo.""" The chairman seemed to be a little impatient during the speech of Mr. H., and said that if there were any adults present would be glad to hear from them. He thought he Mr. Narcisse W. Cable,in the hall. Would Mr. C. please to favor the company with a few remarks? Mr. C.would, and did. He “1 was juss goin he w his friend, aid: ad the poss-office, w'en I drop hin ‘ere to lizzen ad yo' rimargues. Thass the rizzin I did not COR Qasr HE (indignantly): AND DO YOU THINK IT RIGHT THAT A MAN SHOULD SIT BE SD A HIGH HAT AT THE THEATRE ALL THE EVE AND NOT SEE THE PLAY? “THAT DEPENDS UPON THE PLAY.” I ham no hauthor come prepare to mek a spitch. as Brutus hiz; boat I loaf the gran’ Hanglo-Saxon tong, w'ch I ‘ave learn him hat my muzzer’s knee — the tong of the gre’t Lord Biron hand of Mr. Keeplingue.” Mr. Mulvaney, not displeased at this compliment to his biographer, yet groping painfully for something more modern, espied a stranger ostentatiously conceal- ing himself from observation on a front seat, and asked the Rev. Docior Drumtochty to improve the occasion with a few remarks. Mr. Drumtochty, cheerfully complying, the platform and began : “ Brithers a'—for are we nota’ brithers in the pos- session of a common speech ?—this is no’ a time for greetin’, nor for idle clackin’, but for thoughtfu’ and canny cogitatin’. Let ilka tyke haud his ain haggis. In the benmost bore o' the hail beezness, dinna forget the wards o' the Gre't Duke o’ Argyll (Got pless mounted A SOUTH SEA VALENTINE,