Life — October 8, 1896 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE THE FIN DE SIECLE GIRL. The stars that brightly shine at night Remind me, dear, of yor In daytime they are out of sight, And that's where you are, too, For then your lovely orbs are red, Your hair is not in curl, At 12 o'clock you're still in bed, My fin de siecle girl. Your grandma used to rise at five, And milk a cow or two; Ateighty she is more alive, My social star, than you. But stay! Though she is eighty now, And you are twenty-two, She hasn't lived as long, I vow, Nor learned as much as you. —Cleveland Leader, Ox the way to Richmond, Sherman paid but slight attention to dress, but Mr. Proctor, the continuous-performance magnate, took a day or two of last week and ran down to see Niagara Falls. Just before retiring at the hotel, he rang for a pitcher of ice-water. No response. He rang a second and a third time, and finally a sluggish bell-boy appeared and took the order. There was a long stage wait, and, after the bell had been set jingling again, the boy ap. peared, with an apologetic air and anempty pitcher.‘ Very sorry, sir,” he ex- plained, ‘‘ but we can’t serve no water. The river's low, and they need it all for the falls."—N. Y, Evening Sun, A VENERABLE couple from a Middle Western town arrived late at night at a sea side tavern. Weary, man and wife went to bed. Just as the husband was falling asleep, he murmured: ‘* Listen to the surf, Matilda; it's glorious; | haven't heard it for forty years.” In the morning they saw no sea from windows or piazza, On inquiry, the husband discovered that a bowling alley had lulled him to his rest.—Argonaut. Jounnie Fewscaps: I tell you frankly that I shall not be able to pay for this suit until next year. ‘Tatvor: All right, sir. ** When will you have jt ready?" “ Next year."—Phsladelphia Inguirer. Peter RILey, a mechanic, of Sioux City, lowa, who believes in a gold standard, was forced into a discussion the other day by some silverites while on his way to work. Of course a crowd soon gathered, and Riley, who isn't much of a speaker, was speedily worsted by the silver men, But a bright thought came to him and he asked: ** How many of you are silverites ?” “* We all are,” yelled the crowd. “Ain't any of you gold men ?” queried Riley, anxiously. ta voice. ‘Hal ha! ha!" hooted the crowd. Where's yer gold bugs?” » ant * Allat work,” rejoined Riley, and he hastened down the street, swinging when he did the staff knew something was going to happen. ** There is going to bea fight to-day, sure,” said Colonel Audenreid of the staff one morning. “How can you tell?" asked a comrade. ‘* Why, man, the General's over there by the fire putting on a clean collar.” That day Cheraw with forty cannon fell into the hands of the army.—Human Oocuments. his dinner-pail.—. Y. Tribune. As old lady lauding up the Thames scenery, said to Whi trip along the river was like a series of your superb etching: “Yes,” he replied, “ nature is creeping up."—McClure's Magazine. OLETTES,, GZAR) |The KNOX Hat wo lar Giolets) pv CONCENTRATED Fall Styles Now Ready. (€ PERFUMES PERFECTIN PATTERN, MATERIAL L. LEGRAND (Orin ?erfumsn) 14, place dela Madeleine, PARIS FIT AND WORKSIANSHIP. SAE Mail Orders will will receive prompt and careful — = — attention. WE SELL THE BEST RIFLE “%° Sésr'price. SMOKELESS POWDER. SIX SHOOTER. If you want a good thing send for our yellow catalogue. Ask any dealer. SAVAGE REPEATING ARMS CO., Utica, N. Y. Rae's Lucca Oil The Perfection of Olive Qil TS “The whole is the standard tn AMerica’as well as in Eurcrt | because ofits delightful fragrance end delicacy | Your physician will tell you that Olive Oil, pure and sweet, is one or the most wholesome of foods. Rae's Oil is pure and sweet, as testified to by numerous awards and wide repute. A trial will convince you of its superior excellence as a food product. Guaranteed Absolutely Pure by S. RAE & CO., tl Le et aot 1836. Leghorn, Italy. nt itt nt titetremntttenD NOTICE, as well as new when request: | tug change of same, y of VESCRIBERS TO “LIFE” will please give old address comicbooks.com