Life — March 1, 1894 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: COULD IT BE? ILL you and I grow like the rest Of stupid married folks ? Will love's sweet savor lose its zest ? Is happiness a hoax ? There is the Major and his wife, And Uncle and Aunt Kate? Could we be like them ? Whata life! Perhaps we'd better wait. Oh, Will, could ever you and I Grow stuffy, mean and old? And could my voice grow shrilland high? And could you swear and scold, And throw out spiteful little flings ? Oh, dear ! it’s not too late ! If we could do such horrid things, Perhaps we'd better wait. It breaks my heart ; I tell you, Will, Let's always be engaged, And then we'll love each other till Our hearts are worn and aged ; For married people don't reflect Much credit on their state ! They show us what we may expect, Unless—unless we wait! Harry Romaine, A LADY AND HER HOPES. ND here we have— ? An American lady and her hopes of happiness. Why, they are hired-girls, aren't they ? That is what they are. And do they really constitute her hopes of happiness ? She cannot have much fun unless they are kind to her and do their work well. But all American servants are arbitrary and inefficient, are they not; and all American ladies are always in the depths of woe? Oh, not always. Then, possibly, there are some helpful servants even in the United States ? Lots of them—though, apparently, not quite enough to go around, But there are surplus females in other walks of life, are there not? Yes, there are lots of surplus shop-girls, typewriters, clerks, and ornamental persons of various sorts. 141 And cannot housemaids be recruited from this unemployed surplus ? Housework, at present, is hardly attractive enough for that. But couldn’t it be made so? That is a problem very fit for American ladies to consider. And if they do, and cannot solve it, what then ? Then it certainly behooves them to cultivate fewer wants and simpler habits of life, since, without good servants, the burdens of luxury are intolerable. And is there no other alternative ? There is one at least, the popularity of which appears in the increasing probability that the coming American will be born and die in a hotel. ELS. M. METROPOLITAN OPERA HOUSE. The Serio-Comic Spectacle, YOUNG MILLION’S VICTORY; or, ART IN ADVERTISING. By the Boxholders of this Theatre, The Boxholders will not be labeled, as the program renders it unnecessary. There will also be a performance on the stage. EASTERN JEALOUSY. “Wa'LL, NOW, IF THAT DON'T BEAT ALL, I'VE JIST BEEN READIN’ ABOUT THEM COLORADO RAIN MAKERS, AND NOW I SEE THEY'VE GOT A CLEARING House in New York." comicbooks.com